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Author Topic: Trying to Ease Her Mind
vespertilio_exitium
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My girlfriend has been kind of on edge lately because of a recent intercourse we had. Her last period was on the 7th of February and she's been charting her cycle and it says she's ovulating but she's a little worried about maybe being pregnant even though we used a condom and I pulled out before ejaculation. She's been on a high dose ibuprofen for back pain and she said her last period was lighter then normal and a few days shorter. Could the meds be just messing with her? She's going to take a home test but we are both certain nothing happened.
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CoatRack
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Do you want to give this article a read, first, to maybe clear up any confusion? Pregnancy Scared?

It does not sound like you're describing a pregnancy risk if you properly used a condom, it did not break or fail (you'd know - when a condom breaks it really breaks) and there was no other risk. Our bodies aren't machines; sometimes things work one way, sometimes they work another. If you're really nervous about pregnancy right now your options are waiting it out and taking a test 2 weeks after the incident and, if it's negative (which, again, I see no reason it wouldn't be) then maybe looking into another form of birth control to use in addition to condoms and examining where the anxiety around pregnancy is coming from and figuring out if you are both comfortable with the level of sexual activity you're engaging in.

Also, your girlfriend is always welcome to come here and talk to us herself, if she'd like to.

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Hey folks, my name is Andrew and I was a mod here for awhile a couple years ago. I'll be here for a couple weeks while Heather is out and the site is even more short-staffed than usual

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vespertilio_exitium
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We both read threw that article and she feels better even though we did have genital contact but we both are sure the condom didn't break and I pulled out before ejaculation.

She did take the test and it came back negative but she said she was going to test again soon. She's about 11 or 10 days away from her period and she said she's having her usual PMS symptoms (breast pain, acne, mini cramps and such) and we've both agreed to take a break till she feels better about all of this. She said she still feels a little worried and such, but she's patiently just going to wait for her period which we are sure will happen.

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Robin Lee
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I'm really glad to hear the two of you read the article together. It's really cool when partners communicate and work together like that. [Smile] Works really well for sex, and for relationships in general. So yay to the two of you.

Sounds like you're both on track to making sure you don't have worried feelings about this again.

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Robin

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vespertilio_exitium
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We are very connected in our relationship. We both take every precaution when it comes to use having sex. We don't have it very often but when we do we make sure to be very cautious.

I just feel bad that I can't do more to help her when she starts to worry like this. I try to do anything to help make the days pass quicker.

Is there anything I can say to her to help her relax now that you know the situation?

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Saffron Raymie
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It sounds like a sound idea to take a break from vulva-to-penis contact right now. Here are a couple more articles to check out about taking a break:

The Sex Readiness Checklist and Woah There: How to Slow Down

As CoatRack said, your partner is always welcome here any time to talk through her worries with us, too, if that's an option. If your partner is still worried about this risk, it might help if you keep stating the facts about how small this risk actually was; is was almost nothing. Condoms used perfectly and using the withdrawal method perfectly gives you a 99.92% percent effective protection against pregnancy. That's very nearly 100% safe. Pregnancy tests are always good for reassurance, too.

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'Obtain the virgin's consent before you marry her' - Prophet Mohammad (pbuh)

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vespertilio_exitium
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She appreciates the help and is considering making an account later.

She took 2 tests and they were both negative (using them in the two week after intercourse window) so we didn't know if maybe she should take another or is she ok?

That's a relief and yes we've both agreed on taking a break.

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Saffron Raymie
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With a risk so small and two perfectly used tests that came up negative, it's safe to say your partner isn't pregnant.

[ 02-29-2012, 04:27 AM: Message edited by: Saffron Reimi ]

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'Obtain the virgin's consent before you marry her' - Prophet Mohammad (pbuh)

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vespertilio_exitium
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Alright. I will let her know.

Thank you very much to all who've helped.

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vespertilio_exitium
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Sorry to post again but just wanting to ask another question.

Since my partner took the tests the 14 days after we had intercourse, she was still wanting to be sure. She took another yesterday and it also came up negative and I am still just telling her that it's perfectly fine to worry, but she doesn't have to. We both realize that the risk is very low, and she is just a naturally frightened person when it comes to this, so is there anything she can do to help just fully convince herself that she is alright?

(According to her online period tracker (MonthlyInfo) she is 7 days away from her period now and she does say that she feels like it's about to happen. She said she does try to take her mind off of it but every time her body makes a weird feeling she panics. Are there any typical things she should be looking out for bodily wise during this time? Please help)

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Robin Lee
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Unfortunately, anxiety and fear often have lives of their own, and often hang around even after they're useful.

At this point, if the facts (the information and the negative pregnancy tests) aren't convincing to her, it may be a matter of just getting through the fear until her period comes.

I'm not sure what you mean by things she should look out for bodily wise? Can you clarify please?

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Robin

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vespertilio_exitium
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I'm willing to stand by her till it does. I'm funny movie and chocolate ready. haha

Well, she just said she feels odd at times. Like her stomach has a bubbly feeling in it and some minor breast pain and bloating (which I know she mentions every time this time of the month comes around). I get that those are normal and so does she, it's just she keeps thinking it's worse then it is.

(I did read that On The Rag section and that was also helpful)

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Robin Lee
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If those are regular premenstrual symptoms, then there's no reason to think they're anything but that. The tummy upset can also be premenstrual, as well as stress-related.

If she looks at
Chicken Soup for the Pregnancy Symptom Freakout's Soul
she'll see that all of her symptoms are stress and premenstrual related. [Smile]

Funny movies and chocolate at the ready? Sounds like she could use some of that now. [Smile]

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Robin

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vespertilio_exitium
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She already got some earlier and I'm just waiting till I get off work to give her more. haha

Alright, I'll tell her to take a look at that and thank you once again for all the help.

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