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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Ask Scarleteen » Penetration Pain

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Author Topic: Penetration Pain
SnowFlower
Neophyte
Member # 95298

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Hi,
I'm new here and I was hoping someone could help me out.

My friend and I have decided we want to have sex. We're both virgins so I thought he should try fingering me first. But every time he tries to put a finger in my vagina it hurts a lot. I'm really relaxed so I'm not sure why this is happening.
Also, he tried giving me oral but it just felt a bit painful instead of pleasurable.

Is there something we're doing wrong?

Posts: 5 | From: US | Registered: Mar 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
September
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

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Are you very sexually attracted to your boyfriend? When you get ready to engage in sexual activity, do make sure that you are in the mood and feeling aroused? Do you use lots of lube and go very slowly?

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Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

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September
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

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Also, how are you doing for reproductive health care? Have you been seen by a gynecologist recently?

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Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

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SnowFlower
Neophyte
Member # 95298

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I am pretty attracted to him, and I think I feel sexually aroused. We haven't tried using lube, so I'll mention that next time.

I haven't been to a gynecologist before my pediatrician said I can continue going to her until I'm 22 (I'm 20 right now.)

I've tried exploring by myself but I can never get my finger beyond the entrance of my vagina without feeling a wall and pain.

Thanks so much for helping me out!

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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When you're trying masturbation on your own, are you also feeling pain with ANY way of touching your vulva, like when rubbing your external clitoris? Or is the pain just with anything with vaginal entry?

(You say you're also having pain with oral sex, but I don't know if he's engaging your vaginal opening with that at all.)

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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SnowFlower
Neophyte
Member # 95298

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When I'm touching my external clitoris, it sort of tingles but doesn't hurt or feel amazingly good.
It's only when I try to put a finger into my vaginal opening that it hurts.

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SnowFlower
Neophyte
Member # 95298

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Sorry for the double post, I didn't see your second question until I had already replied.

No, he isn't near my vaginal opening during oral.

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Hrm. It's perplexing to me, then, that you're also having pain with oral sex. That's just odd if you're not feeling it with masturbation and your vulva. (Unless the deal is that you're simply not feeling good or feeling pain with ANY kind of genital sex with your partner: that suggests this probably isn't a physical issue, but an interpersonal one.)

So, for sure, sounds like this is something to take to whoever you see for sexual healthcare first and see what they say.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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SnowFlower
Neophyte
Member # 95298

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Okay.
Thanks for all your help! I'll make an appointment to go see my doctor.

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