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Author Topic: Lacking Usual PMS Symptoms
Red Apricorn
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My boyfriend and I had sex twice in the last few weeks, both times with condoms that didn't break and had no semen in them anyway; however, one time, he masturbated a few minutes before we had sex and ejaculated on his lower abdominal area. He wiped this off with a towel and put the condom on. What worries me here is him missing some of the semen and getting it on my vulva when having sex. He tells me he is confident he got rid of all the semen on him, but I'm sceptical.
He may have also put the condom on the wrong side at first and flipped it onto the right side without getting a new condom.
What's worrying me even more is my complete lack of PMS symptoms this month, thus far. Usually, about 10 days before my period starts, my breasts become painful. I'm about 6 days away right now and I have no sign of this symptom. I'm very, very worried.
Although, on Wednesday, I had surgery to remove 4 wisdom teeth. I've been on Vicodin for the last few days. I'm not sure if the surgery, the medication, or the stress before the surgery could be throwing things off.
I'm sure what happened posed some kind of risk, but just how likely is it? I'm terrified. Thank you ahead of time.

[ 12-30-2011, 05:54 AM: Message edited by: AshColdplayer ]

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Haithere.

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September
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So, you had sex twice, and both times you used condoms for all genital contact? If that's the case, there's no reason to be concerned about a pregnancy.

I'd not worry about a possible risk from his having ejaculated on his stomach prior to having sex. Even if he didn't wipe it off 100%, it's really not possible for any sperm to get into your vagina from there.

What's much more likely is that your may be a little out of whack due to the stress of the surgery. Illness and stress can delay a period, and having all four wisdom teeth removed in one surgery is quite a lot of stress.

And just not experiencing usual PMS symptoms doesn't even have to mean yet that your period will be late or go missing entirely. So, no reason to worry.

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Johanna
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Red Apricorn
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Thank you very much. Very comforting to hear. This will blow over soon, hopefully.

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Haithere.

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Red Apricorn
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I ended up getting my usual symptoms a few days later than I usually do, and I was expecting my period today, but I have no bleeding thus far. My period never fails to come every 27 days, so this is a little disconcerting, but I could have scared it away with all the stress I've been experiencing. I'll give it a week to show up before I get a test.

Just one question: Could the sore breasts and irritability I'm experiencing be due to pregnancy this early on? I figured that symptoms like that didn't appear until later, but I could be wrong.

I seriously need birth control pills. I'm tired of worrying about this.

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Haithere.

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Karybu
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As September said, pregnancy is not something you need to be concerned about here. Sore breasts and irritability are both possible PMS symptoms, and it's very normal to have a little bit of variation in your cycles, especially after something like surgery or illness.

Getting a second method of birth control sounds like a good idea for you, and if you like, we can go through the available methods and see what might be a good fit for you.

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"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

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Red Apricorn
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I've talked to Heather about birth control before, but it seems that I can't get it without parental consent in Nevada (beside some matter of proving maturity or already having a child), and my parents aren't completely open to the idea. It's a matter of waiting until I'm old enough to go to Planned Parenthood and get it myself, which sucks. I'm not sure what the required age is, though... I'll be 17 on the 18th.

[ 01-04-2012, 06:36 PM: Message edited by: Red Apricorn ]

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Haithere.

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Karybu
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So unfortunately, it looks like you do need to be 18 to get a prescription for hormonal birth control in Nevada without parental consent. However, there are a few non-hormonal methods that can be used as a backup to condoms, and that don't require a prescription (the sponge and spermicides, for instance). You can have a look through all your options here: Birth Control Bingo!

You might also want to consider if having the kinds of sex that can create a pregnancy is something you're comfortable with if you don't have access to a second method of birth control. Everyone is comfortable with a different level of risk, and if you feel that you need another method or a more effective one for your own peace of mind, that's completely valid. It's totally okay to step back from having any kind of sex at any time for any reason, even if you've had that kind of sex before, so that may be something to think about, too.

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"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

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Red Apricorn
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I really should just stop having vaginal intercourse until I get my hands on some other birth control. I've tried before to just stop, but the moment gets to me, I guess.
I'll try talking with my parents again; maybe they'll have a change in attitude. The reason my mom didn't want me to get birth control is because she thinks it will cause a mess of bad symptoms, since it did for her. Of course that isn't true for everyone, but trying to change my mom's mind is like trying to move a brick wall.
My dad is more open to it and offered to take me to the doctor to get the prescription... Last March. He hasn't done anything.
So frustrating.
But I know you can't do anything about that stuff. [Razz]

I really appreciate your help with all this.

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Haithere.

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Karybu
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You're welcome. I'm sorry I can't do more: suffice it to say, in my opinion the Nevada laws around this stuff are utterly ridiculous. If you think your dad would be willing to take you though, that's definitely a good start - have you considered telling him you'll make the appointment yourself at a time that works for both of you, and then all he has to do really is go with you?

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"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

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Red Apricorn
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What I find especially funny about the laws here is that abortions are legal without parental consent, but birth control isn't. And minors can't have birth control without parental consent unless they've been pregnant before. What about preventing the initial pregnancies...?

I might have to be a little more assertive with my dad and the whole doctor thing. The only thing he's worried about in regards to taking me to the doctor is money - he recently lost his job and isn't sure how long our health insurance is going to last. I'll have to give him a call.

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Haithere.

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Kachina
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quote:
What I find especially funny about the laws here is that abortions are legal without parental consent, but birth control isn't. And minors can't have birth control without parental consent unless they've been pregnant before. What about preventing the initial pregnancies...?
That really makes no sense at all... *sigh*

quote:
I might have to be a little more assertive with my dad and the whole doctor thing. The only thing he's worried about in regards to taking me to the doctor is money - he recently lost his job and isn't sure how long our health insurance is going to last. I'll have to give him a call.
Well if he is going to lose his insurance all the more reason to get an appointment now while he still has it! Please try to get him to take you. I think it really would help you out.

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~Kat
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Red Apricorn
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It really would. I'm trying not to bring it up to him now, considering I'm still scared about being pregnant from these incidences. I know I shouldn't be scared, but I've never had a period act this weird before. I'm terrified of seeing a test result. I just want to cry.
My mom has always made it clear to me that if I get pregnant this young, she'll never let me see my boyfriend again and I'll basically be shunned by her for a long time. She'll automatically assume I was being irresponsible and stupid with my sexual choices.
I'm terrified. And I thought I was being careful.

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Haithere.

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Saffron Raymie
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Honestly, sperm cells are extremely delicate. They just wouldn't be able to survive being transported via the skin on your stomach like that. It's just impossible for the fragile cells to survive; their little tails break, they loose all their ability to move. Your condoms were used perfectly. Please don't cry, Red Apricorn. I understand how difficult and terrifying it must be to think that you're pregnant in this situation with your mom, but trust us; you haven't had a risk at all here.

I hope you're feeling a tiny bit better? I'm here to talk as long as you'd like.

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'Obtain the virgin's consent before you marry her' - Prophet Mohammad (pbuh)

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Saffron Raymie
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Also, please know that PMS symptoms are not always the same; even if they have been for many years. Changes in diet, like eating a little differently, resting more or excercizing can eliminate PMS symptoms altogether.

The painkiller from your surgery may also be what's behind the lack of breast pain in this instance. Having orgasms can also sexual activity can sometimes improve menstrual symptoms, but only if you're reaching orgasm. It's the uterine contractions and chemical changes in your brain due to orgasm that can do that.

It also may just be your body changing; we don't keep the same PMS symptoms from month to month, year to year. Sometimes we get different ones; sometimes PMS is nonexistant; sometimes it's a pain in the butt for no real reason.

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'Obtain the virgin's consent before you marry her' - Prophet Mohammad (pbuh)

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Red Apricorn
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I really appreciate the support, it helps so much. The anxiety I've been feeling has made me nearly nauseous, and it's comforting to see that the chances are low... It's just so nerve-racking, since this is the first time this has happened. It's difficult to keep calm.

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Haithere.

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Red Apricorn
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I started cramping last night and thought my period was coming, but when I woke up, the cramps have stopped and I'm not bleeding. My breasts are no longer as sore as they were. I'm so confused and terrified... I think I'll test when I get home from school today. I have a feeling I'm pregnant, somehow...

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Haithere.

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Saffron Raymie
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It's a great idea to take a test; that will give you the reassurance you need.

Just so you hopefully don't worry as much, those symptoms you are experiencing are in no way related to pregnancy - pregnancy symptoms just don't show up that early. It's most likely your period about to arrive, thrown a little out of whack by the big changes, what with your surgery and this pregnancy scare.

I know how you feel - I remember it from when I was a teen with a similar mother. However, your condoms were 99% percent accurate at preventing pregnancy. I'm here every step of the way when you take that test.

[ 01-06-2012, 08:41 AM: Message edited by: Seashy Rae ]

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'Obtain the virgin's consent before you marry her' - Prophet Mohammad (pbuh)

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Saffron Raymie
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(If you can afford it, it's always a good idea to keep a spare test somewhere private - there really is no greater therapy than a test sometimes. [Smile] )

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'Obtain the virgin's consent before you marry her' - Prophet Mohammad (pbuh)

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Red Apricorn
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Thank you so much. The main reason for my worry is that I have a tendency to let Dr. Google diagnose my every ache and pain... I need to stop doing that. People on the Internet have all kinds of stories about pregnancy that sound like what I'm experiencing.

The fear I feel with taking a test is the fact that it's a completely sure thing... It will be hard not to completely break down if I see a positive result, since there's no questioning it then.

I appreciate your help and support so much; you have no idea how much it means to me. I'll let you know what happens next in this whole fiasco. Time for school, oh boy.

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Haithere.

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Saffron Raymie
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Can I just check in with you that it's be 14 days at the earliest since you had intercourse? We absolutely recommend waiting to test until 14 days after a risk or wait until a period is missed instead. Whichever comes first.

The internet is full of misinformation about pregnancies, and sometimes, just plain old lies. I know how tempting it is to look things up, but if people aren't putting their real name out there - anyone could have written it. (My name is Rae Shelton btw! [Smile] )

I know it's terrifying working up the nerve to take that test. I think you're being extremely brave here. Try not to think about it at school: We have an action plan, and soon all your worries will be over.

[ 01-06-2012, 11:11 AM: Message edited by: Seashy Rae ]

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'Obtain the virgin's consent before you marry her' - Prophet Mohammad (pbuh)

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Red Apricorn
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The last times I had sex were the 16th and 18th of December, so yup, a bit over 14 days.

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Haithere.

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Saffron Raymie
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Fantastic, that means we can have the reassurance of the test later on today. Hang in there Red!

[ 01-06-2012, 09:09 AM: Message edited by: Seashy Rae ]

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'Obtain the virgin's consent before you marry her' - Prophet Mohammad (pbuh)

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Red Apricorn
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Good news, it's looking like I have my period!
3 days late, but man, what a relief.
Thank you all so much for your help and moral support through this. No more sex until I get birth control pills now.

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Haithere.

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Saffron Raymie
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That's amazing news, Red Apricorn! So happy it all worked out! I guess the next plan would be to ask your dad to take you to get some backup contraception sorted?

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'Obtain the virgin's consent before you marry her' - Prophet Mohammad (pbuh)

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Red Apricorn
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Yeah, I'll talk to him the next time I see him. My parents are divorced, so I don't see him on a very regular basis.

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Haithere.

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