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electric
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I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder which manifests itself in obsessive thought patterns that sometimes are just too hard to shake. Right now, I'm really worried about pregnancy and I kind of need the extra reassurance. I had sex with my boyfriend on 25th of September. I usually try to time us having sex to be not during my more "fertile times" but during September, my circle was really out of whack and was 26 days instead of my usual 32 or 29 days. We used a condom and I'm 98% sure that it worked. It kind of slipped halfway off when he was pulling out from me but it didn't fall off and nothing leaked out. I checked afterward to make sure there were no leaks in the condom and I don't think that there were. Still, I'm worried. I've had bad cramps since Monday and don't know when to expect my period since my cycle has been so off. I keep reading that cramps can be a sign of pregnancy which set my obsessive thought patterns off. I have all my normal signs of PMS (I get one pimple on my chin, my breasts become swollen, and I start getting cramps in my thighs and knees) but, I'm just so nervous about my period and when it's going to come. I just keep worrying that something happened and no matter how careful we are, I'm still pregnant.
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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Like I was just telling someone else a few minutes ago, pretty much anything you can experience with your reproductive system is also something you'll find listed as a symptom of pregnancy. This is one of many reasons why it just doesn't make sense to guess about symptoms or get hung up on them. If and when you think you may be pregnant or know you may have had a likely risk, the best bet is to just take a test.

That said, it sounds like your condom was used correctly, assuming it was also on for all genital contact, and I don't see a reason to think it may have failed based on your post. (Though you will want to remind partners using them that a vital part of proper use is holding unto the base of the condom when withdrawing: after all, it could have slipped off into your vagina easily, and then we would have had a high risk of pregnancy to deal with here.)

I hear you reporting what you know to be, and sound likely to be, PMS symptoms. But if you wanted to take a pregnancy test to ease your mind, enough time has passed that you can do that with accurate results.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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electric
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Thank you so much for your prompt reply! My anxiety typically gets worse right before my period so I'm thinking that it's that since, all signs point to me not being pregnant. Is there anything other than birth control that I could also do to make me feel less anxious about having sex? I went on birth control for a month during August and I absolutely hated the way it made me feel. I threw up at least once a week and my anxiety was terrible. I don't want my constant anxiety to affect my relationship because sometimes, though I want to have sex, I'm so paralyzed by worrying that I talk myself out of it.
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Heather
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Well, want to first talk about where you think the anxiety is coming from?

Obviously, some of this is likely about your OCD. Do you see anyonefor help and treatment with that? If so, have you started by talking with them about sex and sexuality to get some help and feedback, including figuring out a) if sex with someone is sound for you right now and b) what you, yourself, might need around your OCD to make it so?

Outside of that -- where I'm just not very qualified to give much input -- what do you think you need? Do you think you'd be more comfortable using another contraception method with condoms?

Is everything cool with the relationship or scenarios you're having sex within? No pressure, mutual consent for everyone all the time, plenty of communication, etc?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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electric
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I've been on Zoloft for four years but I take 100mg because anything more makes me feel weird. I've thought about it a lot and I think the anxiety comes from me not being able to be completely in control. Like, if something happens with the condom, nothing I can do will prevent that from happening.

I've been meaning to go to a therapist for like a year but due to my parents' financial situation and me just being 17, we really can't afford it. My boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year and I trust him completely. We talk about everything and he knows about my OCD so I don't think my anxiety has anything to do with him, really. He's been great about it but sometimes I think my anxiety leaves his bounds of understanding when I explain to him that I can't turn my thoughts off and when I have to constantly ask him for reassurance.

I think that would make me feel better. My mom and I talk a lot about these things because she has OCD too and has suggested I look into spermicide or something like that because that's something I can do.

My boyfriend and I are best friends and he never pushes me for sex or anything like that. I'm usually the one who initiates it and we keep the condoms at my house. Everything's fine in the moment but, it's only a couple days afterwards that this worrying kicks in.

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Spermicide is certainly one backup option, but it's one of the least effective, and also only even has a chance to work if a condom fails. Do you want to talk about more effective options?

Mind, no method is 100% effective, nor no two or three combined. So, it's not something we can ever be completely in control of, alas. Not yet, anyway. Do you think you can handle having a LOT of control, just not complete control?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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electric
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Sure!

I'm fine if I have more control than just a piece of latex. Though I haven't had any condom trouble yet, I live in constant fear of it happening and have heard so many horror stories.

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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You got it. [Smile] Why don't you start by using this handy tool we built for choosing methods, and then we can talk more if you like, including about any questions you might have about any of the methods: Birth Control Bingo!

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 67955 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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