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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Ask Scarleteen » My uncle found something he shouldn't have...

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Author Topic: My uncle found something he shouldn't have...
Member # 46081

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A few months ago, I bought a really small vibrator. It was just out of curiosity, and I found that I do prefer to masturbate by "natural" means. The vibe is easily hidden because it's small and so I always keep in a box with a lock. I don't even use it anymore. But the other day, I noticed a coupon for 10% off from the store I bought the vibrator from, sitting on the kitchen counter. It scared me because now my uncle knows that I've gone to a sex store and actually bought something! I'm very embarrassed, and he's been leaving that coupon out there on the counter, which I believe is part of his plan, for me to initiate a conversation regarding the coupon, and eventually admit that I made a purchase of something from a sex store. Obviously it's me, because it's just the two of us living in the house. I'm going crazy inside! I don't know if I should just go ahead and admit it, or pretend like I don't see it. Why can't he just go ahead and get rid of that thing! I have no idea how it got there in the first place! I knew I should've just tossed that thing in the trashcan when I got it, instead of fearing that he would see that coupon in the trash, because it managed to magically teleport to that place he found it in! I feel so humiliated...

I come from a very religious family, and am likewise, a very religious person. The only things I struggle with are masturbation and porn. I am saving myself for marriage, but I've been watching porn since I was nine years old, and I've been masturbating since I was four. It just came naturally to me, and over the years, I eventually learned how to climax just by thinking about it. If I do admit that I bought something from a sex store, then that'll mean I'll have to explain this whole 4-year-old masturbating story to him!!!! Imagine what he'll think of me now, considering that I pray a lot and don't even lie!

What should I do?!


I do not want answers such as this one: "He should understand that you're old enough..." As you can see, that's not very much of use to me. I'd appreciate responses that actually adress the problem and tackle it in the most practical approach, while avoiding the situation from escalating in the process. Thanks for the advice!

Posts: 6 | From: California | Registered: Mar 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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You know, in my opinion, when someone is being passive like that -- if that's what he's doing, leaving it out because he wants a conversation about it, but he's not initiating that conversation -- it's okay to respond passively.

In other words, if you don't want to talk with him about this, I don't see why you can't just take that coupon and put it in the trash and ditch the whole conversation.

Mind, if he does bring it up, I don't think you have to talk about anything you don't want to. You have the option of saying "That's private, not something I want to talk about with you," or, if you do want to talk about it, but don't feel comfy talking about your whole masturbation history, you don't have to.

But I would also bear in mind when you're going to this "what would he think of me" place that your uncle likely masturbates/has masturbated too, and like you, like most people, including most religious people, probably did since he was also a small person.

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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