Donate Now
Post New Topic  Post A Reply
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Got Questions? Get Answers. » EXPERT ADVICE » Ask Scarleteen » A simplex one question

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: A simplex one question
JB
Activist
Member # 36720

Icon 1 posted      Profile for JB     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Hello! I hope this will be a quick and easy question! When, exactly, does an oral lesion stop being contagious? Is it when it's gone completely or when it simply stops hurting/shrinks in size/closes up (if you know what I mean...the blister-y part gets smaller. Sorry I don't have more scientific terms.) I'm just curious, even though I think I know the answer.

Thanks very much for your time!

Posts: 186 | From: Richmond, VA | Registered: Jan 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Just to be clear, when you/someone has HSV, it's the virus itself that is contagious, and it always is, it's just much, much more so when there is an active outbreak or one coming on.

So, in terms of that most-contagious period, it's understood to start when a sore itself is starting to form (some people can feel that, like a tingling) and until a sore is then all the way gone.

That clear that up?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68237 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
JB
Activist
Member # 36720

Icon 1 posted      Profile for JB     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Yup, thanks very much!
Posts: 186 | From: Richmond, VA | Registered: Jan 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
JB
Activist
Member # 36720

Icon 1 posted      Profile for JB     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Well actually this does open up another question...

How often is it for the virus to pass when there is no active outbreak, especially to the genitals? Should I be having no oral-to-genital contact at all with someone, even if we've bother been tested?

I don't want to endanger my partner but at the same time it's really, really hard to tell someone you can't be intimate with them in a certain way. I'll be honest, it would be a big roadblock for me in a relationship to break it to someone that we can't engage in oral sex.

I guess I just want to know my risks, and how big of a risk my partner and I are taking. I want to keep being intimate with them. And I guess if I'm being completely honest, and maybe a little bit of a baby, I want you to tell me I can still be intimate and have oral sex with my partner when I have no active outbreak and I am coldsore-free. Maybe that's unfair, and I'm sorry, but I hope you understand where I'm coming from.

Posts: 186 | From: Richmond, VA | Registered: Jan 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
JB
Activist
Member # 36720

Icon 1 posted      Profile for JB     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Actually, I just found the other thread I posted about simplex 1, and after reading it over, I realize my question is more of less answered. You said that it's not super-common for HSV-1 to be transferred from mouth to genitals (although I know it can happen), and also said that the virus is passed far more rarely when there's no active outbreak.

So it sounds like, overall, my chances of giving my partner genital herpes via my oral herpes (especially when I am coldsore-free) is pretty slim.

Would this be a correct analysis/interpretation? Or am I off-base? I told my partner about the asymptomatic shedding back when I first posted the thread, and he didn't seem too concerned (our primary method of having sex is not orally, and it's not something we do for extended periods of time every single day.)

I didn't mean to sound snarky or rude in my previous post, and I apologize if that is at all how it seemed...I guess I'm just looking for some optimism and/or reassurance. I feel a lot better after finding my old post (I can't believe I didn't remember it until now!)

Thanks again in advance!

Posts: 186 | From: Richmond, VA | Registered: Jan 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
What I was also going to say before you made this second post is that seeing any of this as unprotected sex or no sex isn't sound. In other words, this doesn't have to be an all-or-nothing choice. (And, FYI, I don't see anything unfair or selfish about wanting to have the kinds of sex that we want to have. There's nothing wrong with those desires.)

So, how about you talk with your partner about what level of risk he feels comfortable with? maybe that will be no oral when there's an outbreak, and oral with barriers when there isn't. Maybe that will be no oral with an outbreak and unprotected oral is okay when there is. Maybe it'll be no oral at all. But these choices are unique choices we make as individuals, so there is no one right answer, only what level of risk any of us is and isn't comfortable with. That includes you, too. So, you start with that they prefer, and if that works for you, too, you're done. If you want something less safe than they do, it's a no-go in my book. If you want something more safe than they do, then you ask for that. Make sense?

But yes, from what we know, contracting herpes through asymptomatic shedding is likely uncommon, and the main times you really need to be concerned are during active outbreaks or outbreaks as they are beginning. However, it still is a risk, so it's sound to talk about and take into consideration when making these choices together.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68237 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
JB
Activist
Member # 36720

Icon 1 posted      Profile for JB     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Thanks so much Heather...I absolutely agree and understand everything you're saying, and I appreciate your patience tremendously!
Posts: 186 | From: Richmond, VA | Registered: Jan 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Happy to help! Do you feel like you can do that kind of conversation together? If not, happy to try and give you some helps with that, too. [Smile]

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68237 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

Quick Reply
Message:

HTML is not enabled.
UBB Code™ is enabled.
UBB Code™ Images not permitted.
Instant Graemlins
   


Post New Topic  Post A Reply Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3

Google
Search Scarleteen