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Member # 47913

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Me and my boyfriend broke up but we still act the same without the title. Now that im not sure what we want to do ive slowed things down but he hasnt. I like making out with him but he suggests he wants more but doesnt force me.I dont want to go any further before i know what i want yet. Theres been one or two times were ive started to give him hj because he kept trying to make me but i stoped and changed my mind so he brought up the blue balls thing up.Now I specifically keep my hands away from his pants so i dont tease him because i understand that it can hurt later for him ect. but he seems to already be turned on just by making out without me. And when i say no to a hj he starts pushing me up and down should i not let him because i dont want to cause him pain later?Or should i stop making out with him at all?

[ 03-06-2011, 02:43 PM: Message edited by: lalalandxoxo ]

Posts: 5 | From: Jersey City | Registered: Jul 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 36725

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You know, I think the important thing here is that you figure out what you do want from this relationship as it is, and what you don't want. From what you're saying there's really not any clear boundaries going on. Also? It's totally not okay for someone to try to guilt you into doing anything, or to try and make you do something you don't want to do. So do you think you can talk with him openly (when you're not already being physical) about what you are and are not okay with? Too? Being aroused from making out is about him and his reactions, not you - so don't let him try to make you feel bad about vasocongestion (blue balls). It's something that happens to both men and women, and can just as easily be dealt with via masturbation, a cold shower, a couple of aspirin, or thinking of something non-sexual. Adding a couple of articles you for here:

Be a Blabbermouth! The Whys, Whats and Hows of Talking About Sex With a Partner
FBI Files: Vasocongestion, AKA: Blue Balls

"Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side" ~Anon

Posts: 3429 | From: Pennsylvania | Registered: Jan 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 47913

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thanks that helps alot:)
Posts: 5 | From: Jersey City | Registered: Jul 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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