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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Ask Scarleteen » Can't "Get In"

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Author Topic: Can't "Get In"
Riku
Neophyte
Member # 49891

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I've just very recently became sexually active with my girlfriend. We love each other very much and are both completely comfortable with our relationship and sex life. However, the last time we fooled around, I just couldn't get my penis in her vagina. Well, I was able to, but it was difficult and I felt as if I was going to ejaculate as soon as i got in.

I've never came during intercourse before, I never used a condom (Do to the fact that I never really liked vaginal sex as much as oral, therefore never really did it) and I have an average (if not a little bigger) sized penis. I just get soft when the time comes. It makes me feel terrible honestly, I mean during oral sex I'm not bad at all but when it comes to going "All Out" I just can't hold it.

Is there something wrong with me? Am I a terrible lover because I can't satisfy my girlfriend with vaginal sex right now? How could i solve this problem?

Posts: 2 | From: RI | Registered: Nov 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
OWL Dan
Activist
Member # 49077

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Welcome Riku,

Is this a new issue or has it happened before? How was your mental status, were relaxed or were you uptight or worried? The reason I am asking is because where your mind is at the time may have a lot to do with what is going on. I am including an article on ED and there are parts of it that may be helpful. As to not being able to “satisfy” your girlfriend with vaginal sex, are you meaning being able to give her an orgasm or simply being able to have vaginal intercourse? Either way, I added a couple of articles that may be informative; especially the one about talking with your partner. Look these over and let us know if these helped or if I miss guessed the situation and how we can better help.


ED: Why You Don't Have to Get So Down About Not Getting It Up

Be a Blabbermouth! The Whats, Whys and Hows of Talking About Sex With a Partner

The Great No-Orgasm-from-Intercourse Conundrum

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Dan

Posts: 842 | From: Ohio | Registered: Sep 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Riku
Neophyte
Member # 49891

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Thank you very much for the articles Dan, they helped answer a few questions and reduce my stress level haha. I especially found the ED article helpful.

This particular issue occured before with my last ex girlfriend. Although we never really had sexual intercourse much due to distance and we broke up before I could really worry about my problem. In retrospect, I suppose I was a little stressed at the time. Perhaps worried that I wouldn't be able to satisfy her like her ex boyfriend did (Even though I'm not the kind of person to live up to others expectations).

As for the satisfying part itself, I'm not so much worried about the orgasm part (As she has orgasmed when we performed oral sex) but just being able to have vaginal intercourse would be nice haha.

It's just a stressful situation to say the least. I'm trying hard not to let it bother me but something like this could pose a problem in the future and I much rather not wait till then to settle it you know?

Also, I apologize if I seem to be overdramatic in my problem. I normally don't speak about my problems and I thought that this site would be useful (Which it has been definatly).

Posts: 2 | From: RI | Registered: Nov 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
OWL Dan
Activist
Member # 49077

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Hey, no need to apologize! I understand your concerns. You commented earlier that "I never really liked vaginal sex as much as oral, therefore never really did it". There is a difference between the two, I agree. They are special for different reasons; vaginal intercourse is more about the intimacy shared between the two people. [Smile] With this in mind, don’t concern your self about being compared to her ex. A relationship should be about the ‘whole package’ each of you brings with you into it. Talking with each other is where both of you can learn what works for each of you and I would suggest bringing up your concerns about being compared to her ex too; it sounds like you are bringing her satisfaction in other areas though. I might suggest backing off on the intercourse for now, focusing on learning about each other better and getting more comfortable with each other [Wink] before trying intercourse again. Hopefully this will help you to relax more when you are together. Good Luck!

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Dan

Posts: 842 | From: Ohio | Registered: Sep 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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