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Author Topic: Confused about simple sex!
over_anxious
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I never really thought about this before but I was recently reading how girls should thrust too?! I must be stupid ^^ but anyway - I wanted to check before I embarrassed myself badly - does the girl thrust with or opposite to the guy? And surely if you do it with him....then he won't exit and enter properly?

Sorry if this is trivial.

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Heather
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I'm assuming you're talking about one specific kind of sex (intercourse, maybe?), but I think it's perhaps simplest to take that out, and also take gender out of this equation.

In other words, during any kind of sex, ideally both partners should be active, because sex is usually about people actively seeking pleasure. Our bodies tend to respond to that, and that usually includes us -- any of us, no matter our gender -- moving our bodies in the ways that's making everything feel good. With a partner, that's moving together, usually, rather than one partner doing all the moving around or action.

if and when any one partner is pretty much just lying there, not moving at all, that's an indication something is wrong, or that that person really isn't into it, or even doesn't want what's going on to be happening.

Make sense?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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over_anxious
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Ah yes it makes sense, thanks [Smile]

and also yes I meant intercourse - so you move together...sorry to be dumb but like I said doesn't that affect the whole entry and exit process...won't you cancel it out so to speak? :S

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Heather
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You're not being dumb.

But I'm trying to understand what you're asking and how you're conceptualizing this, and I'm having a bit of a hard time figuring what you mean when you talk about exit and entry, and "cancelling it out."

Can you maybe try asking that differently?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Heather
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(Unless -- maybe I've got it -- you mean that you think if both people are moving, no one would be getting any stimulation?)

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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over_anxious
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Yes I do! Sorry, I wasn't really sure how to word it! Luckily you can pick out a question out of lots of garble!
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Heather
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Gotcha! So, you're assuming then (and my own language may be imprecise here, so feel free to ask me for clarifcations, too!) that the movements are mirrors of each other, rather than counter-movements. In other words, usually in intercourse when people are moving together, they're pushing their bodies towards and away from each other kind of at the same time. In other words, when one person is pushing forward, so is the other, rather than when one person is pushing forward, the other is pulling back.

Let's try putting it this way in case that's unclear. Imagine two swingsets were facing each other, and each person was on a swing. Rather than swinging in a way where no one ever knocked into each other, you'd be swinging in a way where with each swing forward, both people collided. Make sense?

This does tend to be a lot more intuitive in the experience, for the record, far more so than it is in words. [Smile]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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over_anxious
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That makes perfect sense - thank you so much! I'm sure you've saved me an awful embarrassment there! I love this website! [Big Grin]
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Heather
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You know, I doubt it. When you're with someone sexually, not only should everyone be allowed to feel out what feels good to them, and to learn as you go -- something we all need to do with every new partner -- that's actually a big part of what makes it fun and compelling. [Smile]

You're welcome all the same, and glad you feel better, but seriously, if it ever doesn't feel okay to feel things out, that's a good cue something isn't quite right: with the situation, the relationship, the timing, whatever.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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