I am 17 years old and I've been dating my bestfriend of 3 years for almost 7 months. We both know deep down that we will get married someday. The one thing that scares me though is that as of right now, I don't want to think about having kids in my future, the thought scares me so much I want to cry. He eventually wants to when we're older and is opening to adopting which i would consider. I'm just worried that down the road after we get married, I will still be too scared to have a baby and it will destroy our relationship. I know it's very soon to be worrying about this but I'm the type of person that worries about everything and always has to have a plan. Everywhere I look there's TV shows on pregnancy and constant reminders that one day I will probably have to go through all that and if I don't, my future husband will leave me. Please help and give me some advice to not worry about something that won't happen for atleast 15 years.
Posts: 1 | From: Canada | Registered: Jul 2010
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You probably know this already, but sometimes people can use a reminder: television isn't reality. Not even -- and in many ways, especially not -- reality television.
Plenty of couples choose to be childfree, or to adopt or foster instead of reproducing themselves. And at this point in history, especially in the western world, very few women *have* to become and remain pregnant if that is not something we want. Sometimes that's about what both people ideally want, sometimes it's about what one person wants but the other accepts because what they want most of all is to have a family with THAT person, even if it's only a family of two. It already sounds like your boyfriend has some flexibility with this.
Mind, I'd say it's a bit premature to be stressing about this now, including stressing about a husband you don't have and may not have. I don't mean to be cynical, but realistically, over the decade-and-change we've run the site for, we have heard from a LOT of high school sweethearts who were sure they'd get married, but most of those relationships change well before that happens.
You two have been best friends for a while, for sure, but you've only been dating just over a half a year, which is not a lot of time. How about not talking or worrying about something far off like marriage and childbearing until that's closer down the pike?
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