Donate Now
  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Ask Scarleteen » How to :/

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: How to :/
wonderererer
Neophyte
Member # 43046

Icon 5 posted      Profile for wonderererer     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I have thought through my readiness and willingness for intercourse. I have found that I am prepared.
There's a problem, though. My "significant other" has tried to break my hymen several times, but each time, I pull away with force as a reflex. We have tried male on top of female and-pardon my language-doggy style. He asked me to try on top of him, but I denied him the proposal because I knew that I would not be able to lower myself past the point of pain.

The reason I push away is because the pressure on my hymen feels excruciating. Please help.:/

Posts: 3 | From: Here:) | Registered: Jun 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
The hymen doesn't actually need to be broken. For most women in their teens -- especially the later teens -- it's already partially eroded, and at the very least, has microopenings to let menstrual flow and vaginal secretions through.

So, a few things: if you're "at" intercourse, have you two not before this spent time with other genital sexual activities, like oral sex or manual sex (fingering, which isn't just about fingers in the vagina)? How about you spending time with masturbation? If you really haven't, it may well be that this isn't about your hymen at all, but about attempting intercourse when you are not aroused enough. Obviously, you're not relaxed either. Being both relaxed and aroused is what makes the vaginal muscles and opening loosen and the vagina self-lubricate so that entry does feel good and is not painful. Spending time with those activities probably would also get you both more familiar with your sexual responses and your genitals, and help you to become more relaxed.

Next up, even if you do still have a partial hymen, it's very stretchy tissue, so should not be that painful when you ARE relaxed and aroused, and have been gradual with entry. if it IS horrendously painful, if you HAVE done those other activities and ARE highly aroused, it may be that you have what's called a resilient hymen. That's when there is tissue that is not flexible and doesn't wear away gradually as it should.

If that's the case, intercourse not only probably will NOT "break" it, but for sure, trying to is going to be painful as hell, and not likely result in successful entry. if that's the case, what you need to do is see your sexual healthcare provider who can assess this. If you do have a resilient hymen, what you may need is a simple, outpatient procedure called a hymenectomy, in which a small incision is made in the hymenal tissue. A penis can't act like a scalpel, and you probably really don't want it to, anyway.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3

Google
Search Scarleteen