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Author Topic: Very Confused
Member # 38974

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This may seem very silly, but I am not sure when I lost my virginty. I was thinking about this and got to wondering, so I thought I would ask you all. A few years ago I was dating a guy, and he wanted to go all the way adn I wasn't ready. So one night he asked me if I trusted him and I said yes, but he didn't believe me. So he decided he would came up with a little test. He said all he was going to do was just enter me with the tip of his penis and he would stop when I told him. I remember feeling he was close, adn he siad he was entering the tip and I told him to stop, which he did. I bled very heavily after that, but it was also the first day of my period, so I never knew if the bleeding was from him or my actual period. He left my house that night and I have never heard from him since. I have since then meet a very sweet guy and we started talking about our pasts, but I haven't brought this up yet because I am not sure if the experience was actually my first time or if it was really nothing and to forget about it.

Thanks so much! [Smile]

Posts: 1 | From: PA | Registered: Jun 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 33665

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Hey jjen. Welcome to Scarleteen. [Smile]

What your ex boyfriend did was actually rather manipulative, and I would even go so far as to call it a type of sexual abuse. In a healthy relationship, you should have no need to show that you trust your partner by playing some manipulative games, and a partner would certainly never put you in a situation where you have to prove that you trust them.

That said, there are many many definitions of virginity, and personally I find all of them to be rather silly. Virginity is really more of a social construct than anything else. So only you could really decide whether or not you are a virgin based on your own definition (or you can even choose to ignore the entire concept). I believe it is important to be honest with partners about sexual history. However, you can choose to tell your current boyfriend as little or as much as you want, or even wait a bit longer until you are comfortable in the relationship to tell him. There is absolutely no rush. You may also want to get STI testing for that past experience.

Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.--Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Posts: 2726 | From: North America | Registered: Apr 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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