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Author Topic: high sex drive
cool87
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Okay, that's kind of a really tricky personal issue but is it normal to almost always have a high sex drive for a woman ? Do a lot of woman have that ? What causes that ? Too much hormones of some kind in my blood, let's say testosterone ? (I'm hope you guys are not too tired of my questions)

[ 08-09-2006, 02:05 PM: Message edited by: cool87 ]

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Heather
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It's just as normal as it is for men.

There's really no way to explain what "causes" that. People of any gender who are in good health and in good spirits will generally have a functioning libido.

The trouble with asking about "high" or "low" is that there's really no scale by which to rate these things, or find what the middle of that is.

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cool87
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Actually, I feel like having sex almost every day. I just tought it was not normal because of all the ads and things we see in which women don't often want to have sex because they don't feel like to (or have an headache, things like that) and in which the men are the one with the high sex drive.But that's just misconception I guess.

[ 08-09-2006, 09:50 PM: Message edited by: cool87 ]

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Heather
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You know, it's so hard to want something you really haven't experienced, or experienced in the ideal you're imagining.

Usually, for most people, there are times we want sex with a partner and times we want masturbation: it's not a matter of either being better or worse. They're pretty different things.

So, this is difficult to discuss in the abstract, and really something you'll have to feel out once you're actually there.

But once it's happening, wanting sex with a partner every single day is certainly not the average. Life is busy, people get tired, plus there are other aspects of a relationship we also want to have the time to explore. When you go to work at 8, get home at 6, you want dinner, you want down time to yourself, and that doesn't leave a whole lot of time with a partner, so sometimes you want to talk, go do something, snuggle, have sex, take a bath, have a walk, or just nap. Sex isn't always the thing on the agenda, for obvious reasons.

(And the cultural disparity represented and sometimes experienced between men and women when it comes to sex is a REALLY complex, multifacted topic that is literally something you can study and expolore for years. It's not something to explain or explore in an afternoon.)

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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cool87
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I've experienced sex but not the way I would have liked it to be. It wasn't pleasurable at all and we didn't entirely did it. So no it wasn't a great experience.

But people say sex is so great that I feel like doing it. I don't feel scared anymore. I don't know, I'm just confused. I feel like I want to have sex lately with that boy I'm not even going out with. I know I sound crazy.

[ 08-09-2006, 10:06 PM: Message edited by: cool87 ]

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Heather
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It's not crazy, it's just a little unrealistic to expect something very different from the reality you've experienced, based more on what people say or hearsay than reality, especially with sex.

Sex isn't so great with just anybody. With one partner it can be amazing, with another one a total yawn, and with another one still, really awful. It depends very much on the actual relationship and its dynamics, on how two people communicate, on how both people feel about their sexuality and express it, on a whole lot of things.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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cool87
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But how can I just stop thinking about it when I'm with that boy ? I know if I did it with him, it would be a big mistake right ?

[ 08-09-2006, 10:13 PM: Message edited by: cool87 ]

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Heather
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Thinking about something doesn't mean you have to do something.

In other words, you get to choose how you act, still feeling whatever you feel.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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cool87
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I think it might be great but when I'll do it it probably won't be since it is almost my first time so I'll regret it for sure.

I know the first few times are not supposed to always be not great but they were not all the times I did it. It could have been the partners though.

I'm not going to do it, it's just makes plain sense because I don't know him. It's just atraction. I'm gonna learn to get to know the boys a lot more before jumping in bed with them. It's just for my safety, if I don't want to end up in situations like before.

I just don't want to have casual sex. I don't like the tought of it.

[ 08-09-2006, 10:36 PM: Message edited by: cool87 ]

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