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Author Topic: first time mis-haps
Jeanette1498
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Member # 28440

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my boyfriend and i had sex for the first time, well to be excat, last night and to be honest it wasn't good at all. he kept slipping out and the postion was never qutie right. is there a "right" postion? and then afterwards i felt just horrible and was mad and confused and hurt. i was mad at him, but i don't know why, can you help me with why i was mad at him? and now the day after im really confused. now all i can think about is doing it again and "doing it right" this time. i am just totally out of wack and weird for thinking this way? please help!
Posts: 5 | From: Alabama | Registered: Apr 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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First of all, have a look here: Is that all there is? A memoir of first time sex 17 years in the making

I suspect it might be a comfort for you right now.

Per the way you felt, I'm guessing you were just disappointed.

I don't know what your expectations for intercourse were, but if they were like the expectations of a lot of people, you expected something which is a LOT more choreographed, a lot less awkward, perhaps a lot more romantic.

That's normal, but not very realistic.

Sex is messy. It's often awkward, even to the point of being downright funny. It's rarely perfectly choerographed. In a word, it's human.

There really isn't a "right" position. When any two people just start feeling out both how sex between them works, and how their unique bodies fit together, it takes some experimenting, which really should be one of the fun parts. It also tends to build a good deal of intimacy if you let it. Over time, between you two -- or you and any other pertner -- it'll get less awkward and a good deal easier to feel out and do in such a way that you both feel more satisfied on all fronts, so long as you are willing to experiment, to communicate openly a lot, and have a realistic approach.

But making it picture perfect the second time? Eh, not so much. Third? Fourth? Twentieth? Maybe...maybe not.

One of the things about sex with a partner is that often, it just gets better and better as you go. Which is a real bomuc for staying with one partner for a while, but a bit more difficult if you're not feeling patient. [Smile]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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