Honestly? It sounds like on some basic level, you don't want to have intercourse. You can be informed, have all the risk/consequence/safer sex stuff down pat, and still not be ready for intercourse, you know--whether it's in general or with this particular person.
Don't rush it, give it some more time; try to back off the idea of having intercourse for awhile. Chances are, now you've built it all up, and it's become a much bigger deal than it needs to be.
It's perfectly okay for your boyfriend to also decide that he doesn't want to have intercourse, but it's not okay for him to couch that in terms that make it Your Fault. It's not your intention to "tease him," and I would guess that he knows that. As for it being "too painful," vasocongestion--"blue balls"--never yet killed anyone, and there are plenty of other activities the two of you could engage in to dispel sexual tension. Intercourse is not the end all, be all.
So I think both of y'all's energy at this point is best spent backing off the intercourse issue. Give these articles a review, if you haven't already, too; they'll underscore a lot of what I've just said:
FBI Files: Blue Balls
Ready or Not? - The Readiness Checklist
Is that all there is? - A memoir of first time sex 17 years in the making
"And when the answer that you want/Is in the question that you state/Come what may..." - Coheed and Cambria, "Blood Red Summer"