My boyfriend and I are 18 and have been together for three years and have been best friends before that. We are very comfortable together and I feel that we are exceptionally open and honest about sex and emotional issues. We were both virgins and just recently had sex for the first time and I have to say the three yaer build up probably wasn't the best idea as far as self-induced pressure goes. Being the girl I guess I didn't really feel as much pressure as he did because quite simply the anatomical reasons. However the first attempt was difficult due to the fact that he had difficulty getting completly hard or hard at all, anx when we have tried a second time the same problem occured. It is frustrating for the both of us and I just don't know how to help him. It is a crushing blow for his ego and he feels like he is the only teen guy int he world with this problem. He does suffer from diagnosed anxiety disorder and he panics when entering new situations. I jsut want to know how I can help him get through this I know its all in his head and its getting worse and worse each time he tries and "fails". It getting to the point where he doesn't even want to attempt any more due to embarassment and shame. Should he talk to his family care practicioner about sexual dysfunction issues or a therapist? Does this happen to other guys his age? Should we consider a prescription or supplement of some sort? Help!
Posts: 1 | From: Lexington, Kentucky, USA | Registered: Jul 2004
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ED is almost ALWAYS psychological and emotional, not physical, especially in young men.
You've already said your partner has an axiety disorder, and combining that with the existing stresses and anxieties and pressures of partnered sex makes it no big shocker this is what's going on.
I'd suggest he talks to his existing therapist about the issue to determine what the best approach for him is. In the meantime, I'd suggest chilling out with sex that requires erection and doing things sexually without so much pressure involved to help him relax and let you both still enjoy yourselves.
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