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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Ask Scarleteen » simultaneous orgasm or not?

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Author Topic: simultaneous orgasm or not?
Member # 7075

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Hi there, I still consider myself a virgin - having never had intercourse, but I am 16 years old and naturally very curious. The sex education we have been given at school is.. well let's say less than useful and scarleteen has really helped me. There was one thing I read though, about simultaneous orgasms and I wondered if someone could help me out on this one. It said that it is often better not to aim for a simultaneous orgasm with your partner but come at different times when you are ready. Thing is, how exactly does this work? I mean once one of you has passed their personal moment of bliss, what about the other. Wouldn't it be difficult to keep on going until your partner had come, which could be like ten minutes later?
I hope this doesn't sound like a silly or trivial question.. but as they say, to ask means a moments shame, not to ask means a lifetimes ignorance.

igeek -

The best form of sex education is the braille method ;) (and

Posts: 2 | From: UK | Registered: Feb 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 1679

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Hi there igeek,

I'm glad you've found ST to be useful to you, we always like to hear comments like that!

Basically, simultaneous orgasms are difficult to achieve at any age, and generally even more difficult for teens. Sex really isn't all about the orgasm...and if you're stressing it, and worrying about trying to orgasm at the exact same second as your partner then chances are you'll just psych yourself out of orgasming at all. One partner may peak faster than the other, and there's nothing wrong with that. Sex is about fun and pleasure...and you really don't have to orgasm in order to feel pleasure. Don't get me wrong, orgasms are wonderful, but they aren't the be-all, end-all of everything.

And as far as how differently timed orgasms work...well, basically there are lots of other ways to achieve pleasure and/or orgasm other than intercourse. Many couples choose to use another method, or simply to wait for a while before continuing. As far as it being "difficult" to continue...well, for the most part you have to keep in mind that most partnered sexual contacts aren't just about your own pleasure but are about your partner's pleasure too. Partnered sex is a team sport, so if both people still want to play, then the game isn't over yet, so to speak.

Check out this article:
Sexual Response and Orgasm

Scarleteen Advocate

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[This message has been edited by KittenGoddess (edited 02-21-2002).]

Posts: 7316 | From: USA | Registered: Oct 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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