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Author Topic: I think he might be trans...?
Imperfect_Innocence
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Member # 108093

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So, my friend, we'll call him A (calling A a "he" because that's the only way I know him), looks very guy-ish (also is very cute!), but can act...feminine. He's fairly open about himself, so I asked him if he was gay, and he said he wasn't sure, and I said okay, and we went on as things have been. That was totally fine. But then I noticed that A's Facebook gender was "Female," interested in women. He could just be joking around like I do on Facebook (like how I put that I studied at Hogwarts), but maybe he actually be trans. If (s)he is, is (s)he openly trans and just hasn't told me, expected me to know? (Rhetorical question). I'll still be A's friend no matter what (s)he identifies as, but for some reason, not knowing is really affecting me. Help? [Confused] [Confused]
Posts: 9 | From: Narnia | Registered: Jul 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Molias
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This is a situation where we certainly can't know why your friend put that information in their facebook page. I think it's something you could ask about if you want to - certainly I'd take a pretty approach like "oh hey, I saw your fb profile says 'female,' is there a particular reason behind that?" so that it's clear that you're giving them space to answer or not as comfort dictates.

For a lot of folks who are trans or questioning, coming out to anyone can be a really fraught experience. Sometimes even close friends can be less than understanding, so it's easy for people to worry about disclosure to people they are close to. It's possible that your friend is trans and isn't ready to talk about it yet. Or they could be exploring their gender and not sure exactly where that's going.

It might be a little uncomfortable for you to not exactly know what's going on with your friend's gender right now, but I'd really encourage you not to let that discomfort take precedence over making sure your friend feels properly supported and respected. If they aren't ready to talk about this right now, then it's important to respect that and not push.

Posts: 1352 | From: San Francisco | Registered: Jan 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Imperfect_Innocence
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Member # 108093

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Thank you. That's really good advice. I tend to get kind of serious and blunt about these kind of topics, so your advice is very helpful.
Posts: 9 | From: Narnia | Registered: Jul 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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