Donate Now
We've Moved! Check out our new boards.
Post New Topic  Post A Reply
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Gender Issues » Straight female who likes watching gay male porn?

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: Straight female who likes watching gay male porn?
Confusing Cantonese
Neophyte
Member # 101490

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Confusing Cantonese     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Hi, I'm really sorry if this is in the wrong category and is a little too much information for some. I'm still sort of mystified by this issue myself, so I'll do my best in explaining it.

I started watching gay (male) cinema about a year ago. None of the movies I've seen have really been labeled as "Gay porn" they're all just gay movies, and some aren't even pornographic. For some reason I just loved these films. Something about gay romance was so much more moving and emotionally touching to me. And although I never consciously understood it until a few days ago, the gay sex scenes in these movies turned me on more than any other straight or lesbian sex scenes I've seen in movies. I'm really not sure if the gay movie industry is far more brazen or what.

Anyways a few days ago I showed my boyfriend a clip of a movie that I thought was particularly powerful and he told me I was basically watching porn, which is when I really realized it. I guess I had grown so accustomed to seeing these nitty gritty sex scenes that I hadn't even realized how pornographic they were.

So I'm sorry if this is confusing, or a petty issue. But I am a straight female with a boyfriend whom I love, why am I so attracted to gay pornographic films?

Posts: 2 | From: D.C | Registered: Jan 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Onionpie
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 41699

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Onionpie     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Hi confusing cantonese, welcome to scarleteen! You're definitely not alone having some sexual fantasies that might be confusing for you! What's important to think about here is that our fantasies =/= our real-life desires. Our fantasies can be very different from what we really want and desire in our sex-lives, and that includes things like watching porn that wouldn't usually fall under our sexual orientation.

We have a couple of sexpert advise questions on the main site from people who think their fantasies don't really line up with their orientations, you might find it helpful to read through them:
Big Questions About Gender Identity, Sexual Orientation, and Sexual Fantasy
I like gay male porn but gay men in real life freak me out

I know neither of them apply exactly to your situation, but in them, Heather talks a lot about the differences between our fantasies and reality. So hopefully it helps you with thinking about all of this [Smile]

Posts: 1311 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Dec 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Robin Lee
Volunteer Assistant Director
Member # 90293

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Robin Lee     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
HI Confusing Cantonese and welcome to Scarleteen,


I don't find this confusing at all. [Smile]  

You're attracted to gay sex scenes and gay films in general because you find them attractive, interesting, sexy, or something else entirely. IN other words, gay films float your boat and give you enjoyment.

This says nothing about you as a person, or about how you feel about your
boyfriend and your relationship.
 
Many people enjoy things in fantasy that they have no interest in doing in real life, or aren't able to do in real life. Fantasy isn't wrong, or bad, and doesn't have to mean we care for our partners any less, or that we wish things were different in our "real" lives. Most people's sexuality is a richly varied and often-growing-and-changing collection of thoughts, feelings, and experiences.

How do you feel about this now? How does your boyfriend feel about it?

Here are a few articles that might be helpful.


http://www.scarleteen.com/article/boyfriend/looking_lusting_and_learning_a_straightforward_look_at_pornography

http://www.scarleteen.com/article/body/sexuality_wtf_is_it_anyway

--------------------
Robin

Posts: 6066 | From: Washington DC suburbs | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Confusing Cantonese
Neophyte
Member # 101490

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Confusing Cantonese     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Thank you so much, you're completely right. I guess watching these movies are just peaking my interest and excitement because they're so new and foreign.
Ahhh, I guess therein lies another problem. My boyfriend isn't showing any emotion towards me watching these movies. I guess it was only a few days ago that he realized how pornographic they are. He seemed shocked at first but then he composed himself into an apathetic sort of tone. I can't help but feel he's uncomfortable or upset that I'm watching these movies, but when I asked he said he was fine with it. But I really think he just said that to avoid the subject.

Posts: 2 | From: D.C | Registered: Jan 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
So, do you want to try and talk with him about it again? Alternately, you can take him at his word and leave the ball in his court, so that if he is uncomfortable, he can come back to you and bring that up himself when he does want to talk about it.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Goldenblaze
Neophyte
Member # 102173

Icon 4 posted      Profile for Goldenblaze     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Hey there!
Just know that you aren't alone! I myself prefer man on man porn (I rarely watch it anyways) myself and I saw something in a women's magazine that more and more women prefer it over straight and lesbian porn.
Men turn you on...nothing wrong with that! My husband likes lesbian porn because women turn him on.
And I'd rathe see two hunky men than women (cuz frankly, I find women gross...even though I am one! Lol)

But don't worry, you are normal! Everyone has different things that get them going.

Posts: 9 | Registered: Jan 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

Quick Reply
Message:

HTML is not enabled.
UBB Code™ is enabled.

Instant Graemlins
   


Post New Topic  Post A Reply Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3