I know that violence is random, and that men can be subjected to violence the same a woman can. But I always get this feeling that women are targeted more, or that I will be targeted more than my male peers, because of my size and gender.
I'm moving into my first house in a few weeks. It is a block and a half off of campus, but the town that my university is in is a pretty sketchy place. There is a lot of crime that goes on (though I've mostly heard of car theft, and domestic violence. I don't really go looking for bad news though, so idk). I'm living in a small house with two other girls. I'm the only person living on the ground floor, with the one window on the house that faces the street (other than the sliding glass door). I've heard stories of things that have happened in campuses around our area (about 30 minutes north) of crazy people breaking in and tying up girls that live in houses together. In one story, there were 8 girls living in one house, and the only reason they didn't all get raped and murdered was because one girl was a light sleeper and woke up when she heard the man walking through the house, and called the police behind a closet door. So I guess safety in numbers has a little bit of weight, but the numbers didn't seem to phase the crazy SOB.
I originally picked the ground floor room because it was bigger and right next to the shower and laundry room. But I know that when I move in (especially since I will be living on my own for a few weeks before my housemates move in with me), I will lay in my bed staring at the window, or waking up every time I hear a little bump or scratch.
It doesn't help that my mom always looks extremely concerned when I mention moving out or living alone. She wants me to just stay at home until other people move in with me. And I could, and I might, but I want to start working at my old job again ASAP so I can earn some rent and grocery money for the upcoming school year. And it annoys me that I only feel safe when there is a bigger person (usually a man, or one of my extremely athletic lady friends) who could back me up or maybe intimidate the offender.
I guess this is kind of a rant. I'm not really looking for a clear answer. I just wish I didn't have to worry about being raped in my own home. Even though I'll have the best locks, I'll have some sort of weapon (we haven't decided on what to have yet, but I will be choosing one to train with before moving), and I'm hoping to install some sort of alarm system that would scare away any prospective intruders. So I am taking precautions.
Some people think that me and my family are being paranoid, and that "nothing will happen." And that is probably true. But violence is random. Someone might pick my house to break into to thieve, and shoot me in the process. The next crazy person may target my house full of young small women to take advantage of. (I am aware that this is extremely rare, but it does happen, and it still churns in my head.)
I just don't want to feel helpless, or victimized. I want to know that I can shoot a man dead, or beat him dead, before he could harm me or my friends. So I'll do my best to be prepared. But I still hate the feeling of fear that I get when I am alone in a not-so-friendly neighborhood.
OK, done with my rant for now. Any comments or anything would be nice c:
Posts: 67 | From: Washington State - USA | Registered: Mar 2012
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