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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Gender Issues » Genderqueer, Gender-variant or Agender Peer Support

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Author Topic: Genderqueer, Gender-variant or Agender Peer Support
Executive Director & Founder
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This is one of a few threads we've added to help those of you who are often dealing with similar issues -- or aren't, but are members of this one broad group with gender identity and want to connect, even in places you're not the same -- but perhaps not seeing each other in one place on the boards to know you can connect and talk together. We keep seeing some users who it seems like would SO benefit from talking together, but due to the business of the boards, probably don't realize are here to talk to.

This one is for anyone who is/feels genderqueer, agender or otherwise gender-variant.

IMPORTANT: What this thread is NOT for is anyone who does not feel or identify in those ways, but who is curious about people who do and wants to interview them in any way to satisfy their curiosity. This is a peer support thread for people who are sure or pretty darn sure they are or feel these kinds of gender identities. Thanks!

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 48877

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Thanks for adding this! I was actually looking for a place in my town that would have a group like this I could join and go to. Not knowing where to start, I of course started here. Glad to see this thread created!

[ 06-30-2011, 08:40 PM: Message edited by: DreamCatches ]

Think of me, when you're out, when you're out there...

Posts: 34 | From: Georgia | Registered: Sep 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 29269

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Hi all! So I started identifying as genderqueer or androgynous probably about a year ago, I went through a long period of thinking I was trans (MTF) but I've come to realise I'm more happy somewhere other than the two genders I was brought up to know about.

So now I dress a mixture of sometimes quite feminine, sometimes more butch - I haven't really figured out how specifically I present. I go back and forth about even whether or not I have a beard, for example, or whether I shave. I don't really see genderqueer as a temporary identity, though (except in the sense that everything is probably temporary): I guess I intend to carry on questioning the way I present for a long time. I want to stay where I am by changing a lot all the time.

I find it difficult presenting and identifying as queer or genderqueer sometimes: recently, as I've started presenting more femme sometimes, I get heckled more often on public transportation or in bars. I try to get in contact with friends who can give me support when that happens, but that can be tricky because a lot of London's public transportation is underground and things like phone signals don't work.

“In a strange room, before you are emptied for sleep, what are you. And when you are filled with sleep you never were. I don’t know what I am. I don’t know if I am or not... how often have I lain beneath rain on a strange roof, thinking of home.”

Posts: 1269 | From: London, UK | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
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I'm Andy and I came out as trans about 4 years ago after identifying as a gay woman for 8 years before that. I came out in college via mass email and, thankfully, there were no issues. I was able to go by my preferred pronouns and name in all aspects of my college and personal life.

I graduated and moved to Boston where I already had a large number of queer and genderqueer friends. I am looking into a profession (ministry) that is not traditionally thought of as a logical thing for trans folks to enter but I love my community of trans/gq/gv ministers who are supporting me on my way.

Hey folks, my name is Andrew and I was a mod here for awhile a couple years ago. I'll be here for a couple weeks while Heather is out and the site is even more short-staffed than usual

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bump on a log
Member # 60751

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Originally posted by CoatRack:
I am looking into a profession (ministry) that is not traditionally thought of as a logical thing for trans folks to enter but I love my community of trans/gq/gv ministers who are supporting me on my way.

I think that is enormously cool. Best of luck to you all. And I grew up with connections to, and deeply love in a sad conflicted way, the branch of Anglicanism wherein men walk round in lacy dresses and nobody laughs, so it doesn't seem odd to me in the slightest. [Wink]

You will all think that all I do is read books instead of actually having a life, and you will all be quite right -- but when I was sixteen or so Mary Renault's The Friendly Young Ladies was massively important to me. It's about a bisexual woman, in a relationship with another woman, who dresses and acts pretty much male. She is described as being both woman and boy. At one point, someone writes a letter to her, in which he says about the male part of her, "I can't tell how much he means to you. Perhaps, in the end, he is you, and has the immortal part of you in his keeping." I don't believe, though I sure wish I could, that there is an immortal part of anybody, but that is how I feel about my own maleness: that, in the end, that person, that guy, is me. The female side is there too though.

Posts: 170 | From: UK | Registered: Mar 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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