Okay, now I've read and seen first hand how mean and crule both hets and gays/lesibians can be to bisexuals. Hince why I'm still hiding with the old shoes and not wearing pink-purple-blue dual moons. I like the closet, 'cause I'm not disliked by almost everyone. Which brings me to the main question. Why do both homoseuxals and hetrosexuals, have a strange repulsion and almost fear of bisexuals? I understand the straights, it's new, and weird, just like being homosexual. But I don't know why the homosexuals are being such hypocrites. I also don't know what to do or say when someone I know says something about bis being 'stupid, 'cause they can't make up their minds'. I want to defend my peers, but I don't do well with branding as it is. If we're gonna be politically correct, let's be it all the way. I know I sure don't like a straight or gay who can't make up their minds.
First I'd like to mention that there are many homosexuals and heterosexuals who are not biphobic. And also that really homosexuality or bisexuality aren't new or weird when you think about it, and in my opinion nor should that be any reason for making allowances for anyone to be prejudiced.
However, biphobia is something you do get in both straight communities and gay communities. Bi the dozen is a great resource dispelling a large number of those misconceptions.
I do feel as though biphobia in the gay community is there because it kinda puts to question the separateness which may be celebrated by the gay community, which in itself is a reaction to the homophobia in straight society.
I also feel as though it's part of the recurring problem in nearly all communities where the minority is more often than nor the target of discrimination. In all of these it's really important to talk about the issues, and try to bring more sense to people's attention.
I can tell you too that you're honestly not "disliked by almost everyone", I'd just say you've probably just had bad luck with weho you've met so far in your gay communities. There are a lot of really understanding non-discriminating people out there, just keep chatting and you'll find them.
Hey, Alley: maybe it might be helpful to talk about your actual experiences with this to help suss them out?
I say that just because generalizing often isn't helpful, and too, as a reminder that we've got folks of all stripes here, so talking about groups like "the homosexuals," both tends to be othering and that kind of generalizing, as if any one group of people were monolithic, just doesn't tend to have a lot of mileage, especially when you want to forge connections rather than create or enable divides.
I'll be 38 this year, and I've been bisexual (I prefer queer or pansexual as identifiers myself, primarily because I don't think of gender as binary, nor have I only ever been involved with XX's or XY's or with people who only ID as male or female) all of my life. I've been in and out of a lot of different queer communities, and my own experience has been that it's pretty rare to have a community as a whole -- rather than a few individuals in it -- be repulsed by or dislike me based on my sphere of attraction. But too, I don't have an issue with calling out people on ignorance or bias when I see it, and I'm usually pretty plain about it. And when that has happened, more times than not, those have been fruitful discussions with positive results.
(Mind, the age of who you're dealing with will usually make a difference, too. Younger people do tend to be more stuck in black and white thinking, and more inclined to cling to binaries: younger people also are in a developmental phase of big-time identity seeking and formation, so often are very uncomfortable with things which are murky, and not very easily defined with clear borders. A little growth and maturity -- in other words, time -- tends to make a big difference.)
Ultimately, when you hit that bias, I think it's helpful to remember that there is no one group of people immune from being ignorant about any given thing, or immune from othering people or applying bigotry or bias. Lower-class men, for instance, are economically oppressed, but that doesn't stop some of them from oppressing women or being sexist, even though we'd think being oppressed in one way would help you be more open-minded and understanding about being oppressed another way. If you need another place to see that, note that white folks who are poor are not immune from being racist. It's a human failing: people are imperfect. But the best weapon against any kind of bigotry or bias is usually simply connection, conversation and information.
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me • Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 65678 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
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