So, here's the deal, I have a gender identity crisis; in which, I want to become male, and I've, so far, come out to three of the most important people in my life: My sister [who is bisexual], a female friend[who is also bisexual], and a male friend [who is straight].
I guess this one's not too hard.
I told my male friend, and he says [not quoted directly but still pretty close] 'I'm okay with that and I support you and everything, but...' Always with the but. I've come to dislike buts quite a bit... 'I think, if you find the right person, you might even enjoy being the gender that you are'. [This is the abridged version. It was actually a longer, drawn out speech..]
The conversation displeased me severely, but I'm still a friend of his who will listen and give opinions on his problems without giving comments like his.
Anyhow, if anyone would care to decipher his words differently, I would like to hear some suggestions. Well, suggestions other than my assumption of him saying my problem is downright irrational.
I don't know that what he said is irrational so much as... predictable.
In other words, is a typical thing people say about any sort of differences when it comes to either gender or orientation. Heck, even feminist women are often told that once they find the right man, things will all be better, etc.
So, you have a friend who just doesn't get it right now. That's always a bummer, but on the other hand, you've got at least two other people who are supportive. That's a pretty big deal, since a lot of transpeople have exactly no one who is.
I say for now, lean on those people for support, and accept that for right now, your other friend just isn't getting it.
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me • Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
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