Basically, the subject explains it all. Since last spring, I have had massive body-image issues. I have also encountered depression for the [at least] second time in my life and am now taking pills for that and seeing a psychologist.
But I am absolutely obsessed with food. I have myself on a very strict diet. Lately, any time I deviate from this diet I hate myself. In fact, I hate myself even when I stay in the diet's bounds. I have made myself throw up three times now. I am losing weight, but have 5-10 more pounds to go before I will be happy with it. The thought of eating something that is bad for me or gaining weight (i.e. losing control) terrifies me. I cannot be satisfied with the progress I've made, and I feel like every time I eat I put myself further away from my goals.
I don't even know where I'm going with this. All I know is that I could never have foreseen myself having this mindset. Has anyone here ever gone through something like this?
this is definitely something you need to address with your psychologist. you have a serious eating disorder. if you want to stop it, you are going to need help. for starters, tell your parents what's going on. it may be difficult to bring up, but it's important to have someone watching over you so that you can't keep hurting yourself like this.
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