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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Safer Sex & Birth Control » condoms and outercourse

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Author Topic: condoms and outercourse
gilang5
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Hello Scarleteen [Smile]

Which method is more effective in preventing pregnancy, condoms or outercourse (handjob and fingering?

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Robin Lee
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Hi Gilang5,

I'm really not quite clear on what you're asking here, particularly as fingering isn't a way people get pregnant.

Can you please give me a little more detail on what you're wanting to know?

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Robin

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gilang5
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Thanks for the reply, Robin

So me and my gf were practicing abstinence (only do manual sex), but later my friend said "why dont you have sex instead with a condom? It will avoid the risk of sperm spilled everywhere"

It just make me think if I better use condoms than practicing manual sex

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Robin Lee
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Thank you for clarifying.

Again, there is no risk of pregnancy through manual sex.

There is always some risk of pregnancy with intercourse, even when condoms or other birth control is used. This is because condoms can break or accidentally slip off (though if they're used properly, the risk of this is low) and if that happens there is a pregnancy risk. Again, there just isn't going to be any sort of strong likelihood of pregnancy with manual sex.

So, it's all about whether you're comfortable with the level of risk there still is with condoms.


Have you and your girlfriend talked about what level of risk, if any, you're both comfortable with?

Here is some more information about condoms to help you make an informed choice:

Condoms

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Robin

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gilang5
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Thanks for the explanation Robin

Yes, we have talked and we agrees to practice only manual sex.

I want to ask one more question if you dont mind, was there ever been a case that a couple get pregnant because of sperm that spilled to the vagina because of manual sex in this message boards history?

Thanks before

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Heather
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Nope. No one has ever reported that, not in my running the boards for the thirteen years we have had them.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Robin Lee
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No, I have never heard of someone getting pregnant through manual sex, either through this message board or from anywhere else. [Smile]

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Robin

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gilang5
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Thanks Heather and Robin, I am sure any pregnancy scared person from outercourse will be relieved to hear that [Smile]

Oh yeah sorry I am bit of confused with definition, so when we say abstinence, do that means we abstain from sexual intercourse or we abstain from any sexual activity like outercourse?

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Heather
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That is not a term we tend to use here because it is so vague.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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gilang5
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I am sorry this is maybe a dumb question but, if there was such a tiny amount of semen that you couldn't feel it on your hand then touch a vagina. Does it is considered fluid sharing or not?
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Sam W
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Gilang, we need you to focus on the facts we've been giving you, rather than on "what ifs." As Heather said, you cannot get pregnant from manual sex.
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gilang5
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Thanks for the reply Sam

No this isn't about pregnancy scare, I just wanted to know the answer.

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gilang5
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it is just ambiguous for me and I need clarification
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Sam W
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Hi gilang,

Generally, we wouldn't consider what you described as fluid sharing. The only instance in which it would be close is if someone ejaculates on their hand and then immediately inserts it into the vagina or rubs it on the vulva. However, the semen is likely going to be noticeable.

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gilang5
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Thanks for the explanation Sam [Smile]

So based on what I learned here, sperm needs quite a lot of semen to be able to function, so if there was such a tiny amount that you couldn't even see it on your hand, there wasn't enough for the sperm to do its job

Is it correct?

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Sam W
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You're welcome.

And yes, that's correct.

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