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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Safer Sex & Birth Control » Pill And Withdrawal

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Author Topic: Pill And Withdrawal
LookingForHerPeterPan
Neophyte
Member # 96357

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So my boyfriend and I are planning on having sex this week. I'm on the pill (and have been for a couple years) and he doesn't want to buy condoms, so he wants to pull out instead. I forgot to take my pill the other day at my regular time, but when I did It was still in that "12 hour window" that they say its not "technically" missing a pill for that day. What are the odds or percentages that I will become pregnant based on the supplied info?

As more of a peace of mind type thing, I'd like him to get some condoms, but he won't buy any. I just really don't want a child at this point in my life.

Thanks for your time.

Posts: 13 | Registered: Jul 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Molias
Scarleteen Volunteer
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One point of clarification - do you know if your boyfriend doesn't want to use condoms at all, or if he just has an issue buying them? If he's embarrassed or doesn't have the extra cash to buy some, you could certainly buy some yourself, or see if there's a clinic nearby that has free ones available.

If your boyfriend doesn't want to use them at all, that's his choice, but if you don't want to have sex without them, that's your choice as well!

The literature that came with your pills should describe what technically counts as a missed pill; if you're within that time then you don't have to worry about changing the effectiveness of your pill for this month.
As mentioned here: Combined Oral Contraceptives (The Pill) the effectiveness rate of the Pill with perfect use is 99.7% with perfect use. We can't say what the odds are that you'll become pregnant if you have sex right now; if that .3% doesn't sound like an acceptable risk to you, then exploring something else like condom use or withdrawl might make sense.

We do have an article that discusses the effectiveness of combined birth control methods; you may find it helpful: The Buddy System: Effectiveness Rates for Backing Up Your Birth Control With a Second Method

Posts: 1352 | From: San Francisco | Registered: Jan 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
LookingForHerPeterPan
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Member # 96357

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He doesn't want to use them.

The last time we had sex I asked him to get some and he wouldn't because he didnt want to use them, so I went out and got some myself. I personally have no problem getting them, i have no shame or embarrassment in wanting to Protect myself. He just wasn't very pleased while in the middle of our last session before he went inside me I whipped out a condom for him to put on. I understand if he doesn't like the feeling, but it does come down to a point of respect, you know?

And I read both of those links. It seems to clear things up a little bit. I'm just uneasy about the risk.

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Have you two sat down and had a big talk about this? One where you made clear that YOU have a limit, and that limit includes needing condoms? And that he can not want that, he gets to want what he wants, but that if he wants to choose to be sexual with you, he needs to understand condoms are something he'll need to use?

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Molias
Scarleteen Volunteer
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I like Heather's idea, here. =)

Keep in mind as well that birth control pills and withdrawal won't protect you from STI transmission. How current are both of you on your STI testing?

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LookingForHerPeterPan
Neophyte
Member # 96357

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We have had a talk, but not in a couple months. So I'll sit down with him again and tell him exactly what my limits are because I don't remember what was said last time.

Also, not very current. At least not to my knowledge,

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Robin Lee
Volunteer Assistant Director
Member # 90293

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well, if you don't remember what was talked about, that's an excellent reason to have a discussion. It's also well worth it, in my opinion, for partners to check in with each other about these kinds of things on a regular basis anyway.

Do you remember when the last time you had STI testing was?

Will you talk with your boyfriend about both of you getting tested?

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Robin

Posts: 6066 | From: Washington DC suburbs | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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