How risky is oral sex without a condom if my boyfriend never ejaculates anywhere near my mouth or vagina/vulva? I usually give him oral sex until he is about to ejaculate and then just do it with my hands because he and I don't want any ejaculate near me or in my mouth. I'm worried though, because I see everywhere it says you can be at high risk for an STD if you don't use a condom...
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The riskiness of unprotected sex of any kind depends not only on what you do, but on whether you have both been tested and know each other's disease history. If you know that you both don't have any diseases, and can trust that you're each telling the other the truth, then the risk goes down considerably.
That said, yes, you can get an STI from oral-genital contact. Many STIs are transmitted through fluid (for example, ejaculate) but some can be transmitted just through contact. And it's not just about your boyfriend giving you a STI. The best example of this is the oral form of Herpes which can be transferred to genitals during oral sex. you can read about Herpes more here: The Sti Files: Herpes http://www.scarleteen.com/article/infection/the_sti_files_herpes
I have a few more links here for you to look at. Ultimately you and your boyfriend can use this information to make the informed decisions that work best for you.
I read the STI files on the site and it seems like I really need to get educated about this. I hear so much about pregnancy scares- why is STI testing so much less common? Is it because some of the diseases physically manifest themselves less obviously? Is herpes the only one that doesn't manifest itself in the genital area, if at all?
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That's a big question, but I'm happy to talk about it.
It's safe to say that most people think pregnancy is just a way bigger deal than STIs. And that makes some sense: it is in one very big way -- in the sense that it is potentially creating a whole other person, and a person who is/will be dependent on you in every way for a long time. However, in other ways, it matters a lot. Like, not getting treated when we have an STI can seriously impact our health. A couple STIs can actually kill us, especially without treatment. STIs can also make other people sick, etc.
STI testing isn't less common on the whole, it's that fewer people get tested than should. Some of that is about lack of access, but more of it is about stigma and a lack of education, or even a lot of denial: like testing means someone has to face it's a real risk.
Those two paragraphs are a SERIOUSLY small summary of the issues around this, but are sound places to start.
I'm not sure what you mean by 'doesn't manifest in the genital area." Most STIs, most of the time, are asymptomatic, especially early on: in other words, don't show any noticeable symptoms or result in a person feeling like they have an illness or an STI specifically.
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