So my boyfriend and I of two years want to take things to the next level. Since we are in an LDR we don't see one another often (every couple of months) and I don't want to go on the pill.
We're planning to use a condom and withdrawal. I was going to use a vaginal contraceptive film as well, but I had a yeast infection a while back and am afraid to use one.
Okay, multiple questions:
1. I read about the "Buddy System" page and that the condom was 9_% (Can't remember exact numbers) with perfect use and a certain percent with typical use. Then it continues to say something about (2 in 100 women will get pregnant within a year of using this method). I'm still kind of confused on what this means. How often are those couples having sex that it gives that statistic? Because by that it sounds like if we had sex once or twice under the perfect or even typical basis then getting pregnant chance is super super super small.
2. Can anyone recommend a brand of condoms that they have used frequently and trust along with a compatible lube? We were looking at Durex condoms, but I'm not really certain what lube (brand-wise) we should get.
3. I've read that you should put a drop or two of lube in the tip of the condom before it's put on, but since my boyfriend seems to get a lot of pre-cum is this still necessary? Actually, having just been with him I don't really know if it is "a lot" but when I thought about it concerned me that maybe this would cause slipping if we added lube to it or would the drops not make a significant difference?
3. As people who are experienced, would you consider this (condom and withdrawal) an extremely safe method for one time and possibly non-frequent sex?
Hi! I'll speak from some personal experience to answer a couple of your questions. Condoms are a great barrier method that help prevent the transmission of STDs and pregnancy. However, my personal advice is to be careful with using withdrawal while wearing a condom-your partner should, ideally, grip the base of the condom while he's pulling out so that the condom doesn't get "stuck" inside of you and possible semen spillage occurs (has never happened to me personally, but is known to). Couples can find withdrawal hard in the "heat of the moment" as well.
My partner and I have relied on Trojan. They can be a little more expensive but we get the ultra thin kind, which I think is actually less likely to break (less material=less friction). From my experience lube inside the condom is unnecessary, and from what I can see might cause a little slippage.
I guess your decision has to be based on exactly how devastating, or not, a possible pregnancy would be. Personally, my partner and I use an IUD and condoms as a pregnancy is simply not an option right now. I find the copper IUD a great alternative to hormonal birth control and I've had no major problems so far. It might be something to consider if you don't plan on having children for a while.
Posts: 11 | Registered: Jun 2011
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I'm going to try and answer a couple of parts of your questions that anonymousfour didn't get to, and add my two cents regarding the bits zie did.
Those statistics about the effectiveness of different types of BC are based on a clinical study that tracked how many couples got pregnant within one year using the given type of birth control. I don't know the exact details of the study, but I've been told it meant "regular sex," i.e. not necessarily sex every day, but just the amount of sex that each individual couple in the study would have in a given year. So yes, the chance of getting pregnant just having sex once would not be the same as the chances given in the effectiveness ratings.
We actually also used trojan ultra thins, and my partner also tends to get a lot of precum, so we never put lube inside the condom. We use KY for lube, mostly, just because it's easy to find in drugstores, though we also have a couple of flavored ones by Swiss Navy that I like. Just remember to only use water-based lubricants with condoms- other types of lubricants can degrade the latex and make them more likely to break.
I'd consider condoms and withdrawal a very safe method (though anonymousfour does make very good points about some of the specific problem points). Zie is also right to point out that any decisions you make about contraception (and STI protection, of course) should take into account how devastating the consequences of the method failing would be. One really nice thing about condoms is you'll KNOW if there's been a failure, so you can seek out emergency contraception if necessary.
Posts: 100 | From: Virginia, USA | Registered: May 2011
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