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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Safer Sex & Birth Control » Safe BDSM

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Author Topic: Safe BDSM
techie
Activist
Member # 61437

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Not sure if this quite falls under the category of Safer Sex that this board is for, so if there's a more appropriate place for this to go I apologise.

I just meant to enquire if any Scarleteen users had any tips or knew of any guides for safe BDSM sex, beyond agreements on consent? For example, how to safely knot ropes for bondage, how to know if you've tied a rope too tight, how to use safewords if there is something preventing you speaking clearly, etc. I've looked around but I haven't really found many comprehensive guides, most things just seem to centre around consent-is-key. (Which, of course, it is.)

Posts: 160 | From: England | Registered: Apr 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Saffron Raymie
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 49582

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If one partner is unable to speak for whatever reason, another way to signal 'stop' or 'slow down and talk' need to be thought up. This can be tapping on a surface or pinching the other person or persons involved - or tapping them if pinching usually means something different. Winking can also sometimes be used as a safe signal.

This of course requires all involved to great attention to people's reactions and movements.

With ropes, it's always best to practice before sex. Just as practicing to use condoms properly is important, practicing to safetly use ropes is the same. Communication is a huge key in BDSM, as you're probably aware; so figuring out the perfect tightness of a rope beforehand is a great idea. Whenever you've tied a knot during sex, it's always best to ask your partner if the tightness is too tight or loose.

Also, ongoing discussions of boundaries and likes and dislikes before the sex is essential for all. Also, like all types of sex, be sure to be in tune with a partner and checking throughout that everything is okay and working for them.

There's also quite basic stuff, such as not biting very hard, if biting is involved - as that can be high risk in terms of your health.

[ 12-28-2011, 10:59 AM: Message edited by: Seashy Rae ]

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'Obtain the virgin's consent before you marry her' - Prophet Mohammad (pbuh)

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Robin Lee
Volunteer Assistant Director
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There are several books on the emotional and physical aspects of bdsm play:

Here are a few:


SM 101: A Realistic Introduction by Jay Wiseman When Someone You Love Is Kinky by Dossie Easton
Consensual Sadomasochism : How to Talk About It and How to Do It Safely by William A. Henkin

Here's a general article about BDSM from Scarleteen.

http://www.scarleteen.com/article/sexuality/working

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Robin

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techie
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Awesome [Smile] Do you think I could find books like those at the library? I don't really have the budget to buy them xD But I have no idea what section of most libraries that could be found in, if any? xD
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techie
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Also, regarding biting - how hard is too hard? I know breaking the skin is bad, because its open to infection, and there's all sorts of ick in the human mouth, but biting to the point of bruising, is that safe?
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techie
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Also if anyone knows anywhere where this might be more suitable to ask, feel free to direct me, I know this isn't strictly what Scarleteen is for xD
Posts: 160 | From: England | Registered: Apr 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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