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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex in Media: Books, Magazines, Films, TV & More » Stud=Bruising apparently

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Author Topic: Stud=Bruising apparently
dare2Btopfree
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Member # 50133

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I was so upset after catching a snippet of House, M.D. on TV the other day. The main character had told his colleague that he had slept with his boss, to which his colleague inquired "How is she?", referring to some previous medical condition. When the main character, who had misinterpreted the question, started to reply regarding her post-coital condition by saying, "She probably has some minor bruising...", he was interrupted by his colleague who said, "No, no - I know you're a stud, but I was talking about (this other thing)." I was so stunned, I had to go double check the meaning of stud, in case I had gotten it wrong. The definition, "a young man thought to be very active sexually or regarded as a good sexual partner", in no way describes how being a stud could be linked to bruising a woman, unless bruising her is part of being a "good" sexual partner. How do men get these ideas?! A good sexual partner should be so in tune with his lover that he would never use excessive force leaving her bruised. I'm not saying it doesn't sometimes happen by mistake, but it should definitely not be touted as an automatic indicator of a good lover, and broadcast on TV so that men feel they need to bruise a woman to be a stud. Really.
Posts: 2 | From: California | Registered: Nov 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Welcome to the Scarleteen boards, dare2Btopfree! So far, I've really enjoyed your posts!

And this one is no exception. I think you bring up some excellent points here.

Do you want to expand this conversation? If so, I think there's a lot to talk about in this same vein about how some people put pain or bleeding with first sex -- when it happens -- on pedestal, rather than recognizing that usually, when it happens, it's because someone hasn't been turned on enough, was scared or was too hasty or rough.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Saffron Raymie
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Sorry I know its an old topic, but amazing points, I just have to say as it caught my eye; dare2Btopfree I LOVE your screen-name! *Topfree handshake* [Smile]

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'Obtain the virgin's consent before you marry her' - Prophet Mohammad (pbuh)

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Yakri
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Just to be, well 'devils advocate,' I suppose. I'd like to point out that there are those people out there who rather enjoy fairly rough (or, in some cases, extremely rough) sex, and when we [humans] are happy, we often don't even notice small injuries, such as a light pinch or something that might cause non-visible bruising later.


However, to be fair, I doubt any depiction like that in the media was intentionally meant that way, and I strongly dislike the stereo types that go along with this. I think it is still a popular mis-belief that being rough, or extremely 'active' (it probably wouldn't even be thought of as rough by the person engaging in it. . . . ) sex is good/normal/pleasant for your partner. It is especially propagated by the media, porn, and highschool teenagers that don't really have a clue what they're talking about, and like to brag.

I hate that I still frequently have moments where I'm confronted by some idiocy brought about by these things. It's just about every day that I end up smacking my head into my desk over how ridiculously uninformed some people are about sex.

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Chin up and face the future, wonders beyond your wildest dreams await us!

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AponiKanti
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Well, I've watched House very frequently. I imagine that the "main character" you're referring to is House himself and his friend is Wilson. Wilson frequently responds to House with intense sarcasm and vitriol because he knows House is a complete and total ***. I'd also like to point out that House is constantly making extremely rude/crass/foul/abusive/hurtful comments to everyone he comes in contact with. It's part of his character, he's the epitome of jerk. And Cuddy (his boss) is the epitome of codependency. It's highly unlikely that the scene you saw was meant to be a praise of bruising as a show of "studliness" but rather yet another scene where House's characteristics (which certainly imply an underlying mental illness such as oppositional defiance disorder as well as his substance abuse problems and harsh abuse as a child) are displayed as a ridicule and reason to both hate him and feel sorry for him. I should point out that House is pretty close to the definition of a soap opera, so such extreme examples of human fallacy is abundant.
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AponiKanti
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I do, however, agree with you and Yakri that way too many people seriously think such things are true. Even my family is pervaded by the idea that first time sex always hurts and will always hurt and is supposed to hurt. My mother told me that it hurt for her and every other woman she knew and that it always hurts the first few times and that sex is only enjoyable for boys because we get pain. She also implied that boys know about this (and I will admit, plenty of boys ARE misinformed on this subject. I know my boyfriend was) and that was a reason to mistrust them if and when they asked for sex. (I'd like to point out that my mother's first experience with sex was a very bad one. Her boyfriend was cheating on her and her friend told her to have sex with him to try and save the relationship. She did and he left her anyway. She's had several bad experiences afterwards.) Thankfully, I was able to get Heather's book S.E.X. before my first time having sex, so I knew it not only didn't have to hurt, but wasn't supposed to. I was also able to calm my boyfriend down with that information (I'm sensitive to pain though I'm not easily bruised) because he was also told that it was supposed to hurt the first time for girls and was extremely worried about hurting me and causing me to bleed. We had a great first time, which was, technically speaking, his first time too, though he doesn't see it that way. I recently recommended to my younger sister who is 14 to check out this website because she's starting high school and already she's received a lot of bogus and idiotic information about sex. I've shared my knowledge with her, but it's a tad frightening the things she's asked me about, or perhaps that's just big sister concern.
Posts: 95 | From: Pennsylvania, USA | Registered: Aug 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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