I've been thinking lately about how often we see relationships take off really fast in TV shows and movies. The characters will meet, fall in-love almost immediately, go on a couple of dates, assume their relationship status has changed to "committed, monogamous," and suddenly, six months into the show they're moving in together or even getting married (and sometimes in even less time than that). Heather explained very well (and concisely) the importance of taking things slowly or at a reasonable rate in relationships in this thread (the quote pertains mostly to this importance after leaving an abusive relationship, but I feel it can be applied either way):
quote:Abusive or decepetive people often seriously rush in: it's a way to kind of keep the other person off-balance, or from seeing what's really going on. There's also a certain opportunism about people who rush in right after someone has gotten out of an abusive or unhealthy relationship, rather than recognizing you probably need some time to yourself.
That isn't to say that healthy relationships can't sometimes move fast too, or that people in them can't have strong feelings quickly. However, in healthy relationship, what you're going to see are either people perhaps having those feelings but taking their time to voice them, OR if they voice them, having conversations around things feeling fast to them too, checking in to make sure no one is rushing too much, etc.
What movies and TV shows have you all seen where relationships move this fast? Has anyone seen some good shows that don't do this or at least do this a little less? What impact do you feel this has on viewers?
One show that does seem to take things really too fast is Ugly Betty, where in the last season Betty met a guy, they became a couple, and were about to move in together all in the last half of the season (after winter break).
[ 08-01-2009, 08:12 PM: Message edited by: orca ]
-------------------- Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.--Monty Python and the Holy Grail Posts: 2726 | From: North America | Registered: Apr 2007
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The fastest relationship I've ever seen was in Twilight... Now I have never read the books because of warnings my friends have given me, but me and my boyfriend rented the movie for a laugh. In what seems like a week, Edward and Bella are already in love and the whole thing just strikes me as odd (between that and the "I like watching you while you sleep thing", it's just plain weird...). From what I've heard, they marry straight out of highschool too. Then again, Twilight is notorious for having terrible examples of a "romantic" relationship. Honestly, Bella and Edward's relationship is downright unhealthy, if not abusive at times.
I don't actually watch a lot of TV aside from Animal Planet, so I can't really think of any shows that don't have the characters rushing into relationships :\
Posts: 206 | From: Canada | Registered: Mar 2008
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I dunno, I know there are a lot of examples of relationships being unrealistic on tv and movies, but I also feel at some point that many people can realize that these are indeed just movies and tv shows and they're there to entertain (the same goes for books too). I think it's the same reason that there are romance books. I don't think many people who read romance books (or just books that have romance as a part of it and not the focus) can separate that books are just fantasy. Is this the case for everyone? Of course not, but that doesn't mean that the books and shows are bad for everyone either.
Maybe it's because I read a lot of different stories and write a lot on my own (especially in the fantasy or vampire type genres), but I think at least for myself it may be fun to pretend to be a gold dragonrider from the Dragon Riders of Pern series or a character in a world where being a vampire doesn't necessarily make you bad or to occasionally read something where a character is swept off their feet in a romance that would almost certainly never work in real life. But in the end I know these things aren't realistic or even possible and it's just a way to escape and have fun for a few hours.
Posts: 46 | From: USA | Registered: Jul 2008
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Well, a lot of movies are so short that even movies devoted almost entirely to romance they do not have time to drawn-out getting to know each other stuff.
Also, there's (what I would consider to be) the fantasy of soulmates that proclaims that two people can see one another, know that they are meant for each other, and stay together happily for the next 50 years. That sort of thing might happen very, very rarely, but most of the time, its a big mistake.
In my experience, couples who believe that they are going to be together forever when they've only known each other for a few days or a few months never last. The partners are either too young to have dated more than one or two people or are just desperate for affection.
Posts: 2 | Registered: Jul 2011
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BunBun I totally agree with you about Twilight. I've actually read all the books and have only seen the first movie. As a writer, Stephanie Meyers writing style irritates me intensely. Technically, as in grammar and such, she's a good writer, but she isn't a good storyteller. At times she writes too fast when she should elaborate, but mainly her problem is writing too damn slow when she should speed things up or move on to the next thing.
The books have actually been used in psychology classes to teach about co-dependence (one of my friends had such a class.) Bella's relationship with Edward is ridiculously rushed, intensely codependent, and abusive. And actually, Bella is the abusive one, she is manipulative of Edward's emotions as well as Jacob's. Jacob can be considered abusive as well after he becomes a werewolf, though at a certain point that behavior goes away for a moment, but comes back. Both boys exhibit stalker behavior.
As far as a show that exhibits unusual and/or unreasonable movements of relationships, How I Met Your Mother can be considered one. The main character Ted is constantly in and out of relationships, is codependent, and desperate for affection. Robin, his friend, is the same way and both of them seem to exhibit symptoms of adjustment disorders
Posts: 95 | From: Pennsylvania, USA | Registered: Aug 2010
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When you have such a wide viewership as television shows often have, most people can distinguish reality from fantasy in how it affects their standards of dating and relationships, but there's also a good amount of people that for various reasons can't. Each of us internalizes broadcasted standards subconsciously to some extent, but I feel like it's a rare person who would make decisions in their life solely based on how fast character x and character y's relationship is moving (or how monogamous they are, etc). I know one friend that simply can't critically evaluate a situation because she is so wrapped up in celebrity drama, television, and other media. I think people that are more likely to misinterpret television (which easily lends itself to doing so) carry this character trait of being loosely anchored in reality to other aspects of thier lives too.
Posts: 25 | From: Kansas, USA | Registered: Jun 2010
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