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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Bodies » I can't have an orgasm

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Author Topic: I can't have an orgasm
Member # 108716

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So, I can't have an orgasm. I feel like I'm broke or anything like that.

I'm still virgin, 20 yo, and I was with this guy and he was the first one to, you know, touch me down there and everything. We were making out and stuff started to happen. He used his hands as well his mouth but somehow I couldn't get there! I felt nice but kinda bored. So I decided to touch myself. I tried to think about him and about our making out session and yet nothing happened! I still felt bored.

I think about making out with him since we first met in the beginning of the year and it happened last month. I always found him really attractive and I can't see myself with anyone but him right now. So, what's my problem?? [Confused]

Posts: 1 | From: Brazil | Registered: Oct 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Robin Lee
Volunteer Assistant Director
Member # 90293

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Hi NikkiiiF and welcome to Scarleteen,

It's very unlikely that you're broken. [Smile] orgasm isn't necessarily an automatic thing, particularly when we first start engaging with someone (or with ourselves) sexually. It can take time to learn what we like, what feels good, and so on. having an orgasm isn't just about having our genitals touched, but about feeling really really aroused and learning what activities lead us to that arousal and keep it going.

Before you got together with this guy, had you ever masturbated? When you were with him, and making out, were you feeling really really aroused, like you really really wanted him to touch your genitals? Same thing goes for when you touched yourself: Was it something you were really really excited about?

As I said, orgasm is not an automatic thing. Everyone's sexual arousal pattern is different, and what makes someone feel good isn't going to be what makes everyone feel good. When you were with this guy, did you give him feedback on what felt good and what didn't? Whether we're being sexual with a partner, or masturbating on our own, it's important and helpful to make it about exploring and trying different things, rather than having the goal of having an orgasm.

I'm going to give you a few articles to read about orgasm and sexual arousal.

Sexual Response & Orgasm: A Users Guide

With Pleasure: A View of Whole Sexual Anatomy for Every Body


Posts: 6066 | From: Washington DC suburbs | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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