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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Bodies » I always say I'd die if I was more than a 5

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Author Topic: I always say I'd die if I was more than a 5
Tullia95
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Weight is a huge issue for me. My mother was a 00 in high school. I just graduated and I'm between a 3 and 5 depending on the season. I always say I'd be so depressed if I was more than a 5. I want to be small so bad and I've thought before of bulimic(my mother was) or anorexic. Every spring I eat only 3 exact meals at 7 am, 12, and 5 pm to lose weight to fit into my show clothes. This winter my boyfriend got kind of angry at me for it even though it's a spring regemend for me every spring because I need to be down to 120 or less. I don't know how to explain it to him, he always says i'm beautiful and the smallest girl he's ever seen and how much he loves my body, but it drives me nuts because I always feel like I'm not small enough. In the summer I ride all morning. I wake up at 7 and ride until 1 and I don't eat until I get home. I don't know if this is healthy, but it helps me feel better and keeps my weight down. All the women in my family are bigger( between 150 and 200) as adults, even my mom who was a 00 and I'm scared Ill look like that and my boyfriend will reject me. Just wanting some advice, how to be happy with my weight, whether my spring diet is healthy, what to say to my boyfriend. Thanks

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Quod in vita facimus est in aeternae resonat

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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I hear you describing things here that fall under eating disordered behavior.

Have you ever sought out counseling or other qualified help with these issues? If not, is that something you would consider looking into?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Tullia95
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Member # 100711

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I personally don't consider myself to have a disorder. I'm definitely not bulimic,I may be considered anorexic, but I'm far from underweight. I simply choose not to eat a lot because I want to be a certain weight. I have tried to talk to someone at school and my boyfriend, but I feel rude or snoody for wanting to be thinner and people being jealous of my weight, then here I am complaining. I feel really selfish, so I try to not really talk about it.

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Quod in vita facimus est in aeternae resonat

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Robin Lee
Volunteer Assistant Director
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it sounds, though, like it's something that's on your mind a lot and it's affecting the way you do things.


What do you think about talking to a healthcare provider just to get their opinion on this? We're not usually able to identify when we ourselves have a disorder (eating or otherwise) and when something controls our lives to the degree this sounds like it's controlling your life, it's sound to talk to someone professional about it.

When you say you tried to talk to someone at school, do you mean a friend, counselor, teacher, or someone else?

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Robin

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Tullia95
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My high school counselor. I just graduated and am going to college. I have an appointment with my gynecologist in a week. I think it would be a good time to talk to her. Mostly, I'm worried that it's unhealthy how I eat and that it will make me more sick, yet I still want to be thin. I really just want to make sure I'm healthy and can deal with my weight in healthier way if I need to.

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Quod in vita facimus est in aeternae resonat

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Robin Lee
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I think talking to your gynecologist is an excellent idea. I strongly encourage you to share with her not only what you've been eating and your concerns about that, but also how you're thinking and feeling about all of this.

Printing out what you've written here and showing it to her would give her a good picture of your thought processes around this.

A lot of the language you're using around this, as well as the behaviours you're describing, do fall under the rubric of eating disordered behavior, and it's important for your doctor to have all of this information so she can help you make the best decisions for your long-term health.

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Robin

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Tullia95
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Ok, thank you so much for the help. I think that will really help, hearing her opinion on the situation

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Quod in vita facimus est in aeternae resonat

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Robin Lee
Volunteer Assistant Director
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You're welcome. Good luck.

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Robin

Posts: 6066 | From: Washington DC suburbs | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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