There's a lot of posts on these boards about being beautiful or attractive or uncomfortable in one's bodies. That's not surprising because it's a pretty common feeling among people of all ages, but I think is especially apparent in youth. So, when I stumbled across this video today, I couldn't help but think of everyone here who's posted about being too fat or too ugly or too whatever it is.
The video linked to in the bottom is, in my opinion, a really amazing and powerful take on the concept of beauty and being OK with who you are. I really loved her message and wanted to share it with you. Let me know what you think.
Do you agree with her idea of it being ok to be ugly? Does her idea of perspective help you gain perspective on your physical appearance? Is there anything you would add or take away from message?
On that subject I just wanted to add this quote by someone in response to the video in question,
"I feel like the statement "No matter who you are, you're beautiful!" only reinforces beauty as an ultimate goal. There's no debating it has great intentions—it's a wonderful thing to hear and a kind thing to say to someone. But as a person who has had very low points regarding my self image, I know that hearing "you're beautiful" blanket statements just made me feel more isolated. All I would think was, "No, I'm not. This doesn't apply to me. You don't know me."
I guess I have benefited more from accepting that beauty, though lovely in itself, is not the defining factor of a person; it is merely *a* factor. And I've learned that if it is a person's shining quality, well, they're not the kind of person I'd personally want to spend my days with.
So here's what I want to say:
You may not feel beautiful—but you have been blessed with a beautifully unique soul, which grants you the opportunity to be intelligent, creative, kind, fun-loving, strong, and a million other things that can bring so much to the people around you. When you focus on those things, you can stop hating yourself long enough to realize that maybe you were being too hard on your appearance all along. And that's kind of beautiful too."
Posts: 245 | From: British Columbia, Canada | Registered: Mar 2010
| IP: Logged |
I struggle with this sometimes, because I find a lot of people attractive who aren't "conventionally attractive" and I'm frustrated that most standards of beauty are pretty narrow. But at the same time, I don't want to reinforce that attractiveness is the Ultimate Quality anyone can possess. I also have a lot of body issues and this is something that's really helpful to keep in mind.
(And as a side note, I'm currently having a fun crush/flirtation/maybe-dating-when-she's-in-town situation with a friend who I honestly didn't initially find physically attractive, but it turns out that because her personality and charisma are so strong, I'm really attracted to her anyway. I think having a strong attraction to someone's personality and character really can build a larger attraction even in the absence of an initial sense of physical beauty.)
Posts: 1352 | From: San Francisco | Registered: Jan 2013
| IP: Logged |
Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998
Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.