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Author Topic: BAFFLED TO NO END
arrestomomentum
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Okay, i understand that on sex ed websites, safe sex is promoted heavily. In seeing all of these really high effectiveness rates and all and they dont disappoint when it comes to the numbers. But what i really do wonder is:

WHYYYYYY are there some people who say that even with perfect use of condoms and birth control pills, they still got pregnant?!?! And they say that their friends got pregnant that way too!

I'm now starting to doubt te numbers, and i fear that i maynever be emotionally ready for sex because stories like the ones i mentioned above make me not trust very trusted birth control methods. Dont get me wrong, i really do want to know what it's like to have sex, but i'm now too scared out of my wits to find out :l

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Wiz the Wizard! with a possible mental problem

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Heather
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Well, it's a few things, and this list is really summarizing what can be a much more complex issue, but we'll start this way:

1) There is NO method of contraception that is 100% effective, even when used perfectly. None. All methods still fail sometimes, even in perfect use.

In case that's unclear, and unclear how many people that can happen to, know that the effectiveness rates we have are for every 100 people. So, for example, the combined pill is 92% effective in typical use, and 99% effective in perfect use. That means of every 100 people who use it -- and millions of people do -- around 8 of every 100 still become pregnant with typical use, and around 1 of every 100 with perfect use.

2) Because people often don't know what perfect use means. Condoms are a great example with this, because a whole lot of people think putting a condom on, so long as you do before ejaculation is perfect use, storing them in iffy places is, or using them without a lubricant is, when none of those things are perfect use. That's typical use.

3) A lot of people simply choose not to take full responsibility when an unintended pregnancy happens, for not doing what they could to reduce that risk. Some of those people are just being dishonest when they don't have to be. But other people are in a place or position in their lives where that honesty could cost them a LOT, like a place to live, or a means of support for their kids.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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CSandSourpatch
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(EDIT: Ninja'd by Heather, which I figured was going to happen. Still gonna leave my post as-is. I should also say that she does cover the case where birth control does for one reason or another fail. My reasons are just why people would say it falsely.)

I can think of a few reasons why these people would say this.

1) They have no idea what perfect use actually is, and really aren't perfect users.

2) They're trolls preying on those who are gullible and scared, or they are people who want to scare those not married into thinking birth control doesn't work so that they don't have sex. (See how well that normally goes...)

3) They know they didn't use it perfectly but don't want to admit to it because they're ashamed, or because they want to feel special. There is a huge societal stigma on being unwed parents, so a "miracle" sounds better than an "accident", such as it were.

The only people I've ever known to get pregnant, regardless of whether they wanted to, are those who aren't using birth control, or at least aren't using it properly.

Fear is important. It lets us know when something is wrong. Unfortunately in this case, it is incredibly easy to play to, and there are people out there who will use it to their own end, regardless of the hurt it causes others.

Also, if it helps, I have a positive story: I've been using pills and condoms and have been scare-free, and all of my friends who use birth control have been the same. [Smile] (Seriously--I'm not just saying it.)

[ 01-28-2013, 03:51 PM: Message edited by: CSandSourpatch ]

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Heather
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I love the idea that I can ninja things. Thanks for the self-esteem boost, CSandSourpatch! [Smile]

Also really appreciate your additions here.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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arrestomomentum
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What if all the people did know what perfect use was? And they perfectly use contraceptives? Would all of the numbers be different? And does even having your uterus removed pose pregnancy risks since you said that there is no contraceptive that is 100% safe against pregnancy?

And speaking about perfect use, what are some of the reasons that a condom would fail under perfect use?

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Wiz the Wizard! with a possible mental problem

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CSandSourpatch
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I'd say that yes, the numbers would be higher if everyone knew about and practiced perfect use. However, being realistic, that won't happen. What matters is that you and your partner know and practice as close to perfect use as possible. (As in, you put on your condoms right, you use enough lube, you take your pills on time... Really, that's pretty much what it boils down to.)

As for ectopic (outside the uterus) pregnancies, those generally don't occur in an environment where the embryo/fetus would be in a position to survive. It's very rare that ectopic pregnancies even take, though, and even more so that they make it to term, never mind having complications. So, no, it's not 100% effective, but it's so, so, SO close. (Although what I'm looking at on ectopic pregnancy has no mention of cases where there is no uterus, so I can't be sure.) This is not meant to scare you, by the way, because the chances are so slim.

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Heather
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A hysterectomy -- removal of the uterus -- isn't a contraceptive method nor something done for contraception.

It's generally only done where a health problem warrants it or for people assigned male sex at birth who are having sexual reassignment surgeries.

If you're asking about sterilization procedures -- tubal ligation or vasectomy -- no, even those methods aren't 100%. However, they're as close as it can possibly get, and tests can be given after those procedures to assure the person who had them was sterile. When those methods fail, it's usually because of patients who engage in sex before their surgeon has told them they can in terms of effectiveness of their surgeries.

In perfect use, condoms that fail usually do due to the condom breaking or slipping off during use.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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arrestomomentum
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So if i got my tubes cut and burned, i would have to keep visiting my doctor for "maintenance?" And how about the women whose ovaries fail? Should they have pregnancy risks as well?

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Wiz the Wizard! with a possible mental problem

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Robin Lee
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No, tubal ligations don't need maintenance.

My understanding is that when someone has a tubal ligation they need to wait a while after the surgery before engaging in sexual activity that could lead to pregnancy. after they've healed, the doctor can check to see that the tubal ligation was successful and that no ova have gotten through.

Once that occurs, people with tubal ligations generally opt not to use any birth control. Yes, occasionally a ligation will some how heal itself and pregnancy could occur as a surprise, but these instances are really very rare.

If someone had ovarian problems, that would be a health problem and they would be monitored by their doctor. On a case by case basis, depending on the problem and the chosen treatment, a doctor and patient would decide together, based on the information available, whether that patient will still want to use birth control methods.

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Robin

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arrestomomentum
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Last 2 question for this post [Smile] if a woman has her ovaries removed? Should she still have any pregnancy risks after that?

Also, mu aunt says she cant have kids because she has endometriosis. I dont fully understand what that means because i hear about people getting pregnant with endometriosis anyway :/

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Wiz the Wizard! with a possible mental problem

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Robin Lee
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With endometriosis, it's just going to depend; again, the person with endometriosis and their healthcare provider would work together to figure out what was needed in their specific case.

For your first question, i'd like you to tell me what you think the ansser is.

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Robin

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arrestomomentum
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Well i should think not but since you cant be 100% about anything, is it safe to assume that a woman with no ovaries will not be able to have children?

Is my assumption correct?

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Wiz the Wizard! with a possible mental problem

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Robin Lee
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There are some things one can be 100% sure about. Ovaries are a necessary part of reproduction. To understand how, take a look at this article:

Where DID I Come From? A Refresher Course in Human Reproduction

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Robin

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