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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Bodies » UTIs After Sex

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Author Topic: UTIs After Sex
cagedbird123
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I pretty much ALWAYS get a UTI after sex. On very rare occasions I don't, but it's uncommon. Sometimes I get them the next day and they last for a few days straight and they're terrible. Sometimes they come and then go and then come back again. I cannot seem to understand why this happens. I thought maybe it was because I have female ejaculation, but I'm not sure.
I cannot tell my mom because she thinks sex is the work of the devil unless you're married, but we can't, and don't want to, until we both finish our education and are financialy stable. Obviously we are not, being that I'm just about to get into college and he is concentrating on graduating high school.
Please help.

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smittenkitten
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Hi cagedbird [Smile]

This article has some really great suggestions on preventing/dealing with UTIs as well as some basic info about them. Out, out damn UTI!

UTIs aren't always caused by sex-related practices. If you get them frequently, and the techniques in the article above don't help, it might be a good idea to talk to your doctor about them. I'm sure your mom would want you to look after your health, and she doesn't need to know why you have a UTI.

If you have any questions about anything in the article (or anything else) please let me know [Smile]

Good luck,

Marion

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Alexalex
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UTIs can also sort of pretend to go away, and then recur, because they were never totally cleared. It's possibly you're not getting a UTI every time, but that it's just hanging around and getting worse after sex.

UTIs can absolutely happen for reasons other than sex (little kids get them frequently and some women get them all the time no matter what they do) so you should definitely try to see a doctor. If you think your mom will jump absolutely to to the "sex" conclusion no matter what you say, you could even make an appointment with your general practitioner for something else (or just a check up) and then explain once you get there what's really going on. You really don't want to leave UTIs unattended too long though, because they can sometimes get up into your kidneys and make you really sick.

Once you've beat it (and while you're trying to beat it), try to make sure you're drinking lots of water every day (like the above article says)- you want to keep flushing everything out of your bladder so bacteria doesn't have time to take root. Cranberry juice won't actually help treat an infection very well but it has been shown to help prevent them (but you have to make sure you get the 100% cranberry juice, no water, no apple juice, no nothing else kind, and it's pretty darn bitter.) The whole "peeing after sex" thing is debated also, but really, you might as well. Even if it doesn't help, it doesn't hurt.

It seems like ejaculation would actually help flush bacteria OUT of your system, but maybe some of it heads back up the other way or something? I wonder if it would help to pee *before* sex also.

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cagedbird123
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How do I talk to my doctor with out my parents knowing?
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Heather
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Are you in the United States, Canada, Australia or the UK?

If so -- and in many other places -- as a young person, you most likely have the legal right to privacy with your sexual health. In other words, your doctor likely cannot tell your parents about your sexual health or conversations you have about it without your permission.

To find out if that's true where you are, you can simply ask your doctor -- or even just call in and ask the receptionist -- about your rights in this regard.

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cagedbird123
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Also, I cannot drink cranberry juice because the taste makes me vomit. I can't really be to paticular about how and what goes on before, during, and after sex because it's stricktly forbiden to me because of my family. If it ever does happen it is rushed, spontaneous, and does not follow any certain patern or rules. I'd like to be as safe and sanitary, comfortable and relaxing, as possible, but it's not and can't be. It's a very difficult situation for me and my partner, who feels the same way.
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Heather
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Cranberry is something that works as a preventative for some people. Like Alex said, though, it's not helpful once someone already has an infection. But once you clear yours, if you want to try it, it also comes in capsule form.

Like I asked in another post of yours, where you talk about not enjoying sex in the first place, can I suggest that perhaps, for now, your best answer might be taking sex off the table, period? Since it seems you aren't enjoying it, and you also can't explore it in the kind of environment that tends to make it work for people, how about taking a break for a while?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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cagedbird123
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I can try that. I've already been on a very very long break. It's very difficult for me.
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Heather
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Well, since you express that sex isn't enjoyable for you, maybe we can talk about what feels difficult for you about not engaging in it? Typically, it's not at all difficult not to do things we don't like doing, after all, so it sounds like we might be missing something here.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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cagedbird123
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I have a pretty high and spontaneous libido. I don't know why. I find sex interesting and I feel like I want it, even though I usually regret it or it doesn't feel comfortable.
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Heather
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So, you have a very strong physical and emotional desire for sex (libido), but when you engage in it, it doesn't feel good or satisfying, merely interesting? You don't get, as you mentioned in a post elsewhere, at all aroused, during any kind of sex, including masturbation, and you typically also regret engaging in it?

If so, here's the thing: the desire for sex comes and goes. It's not like a desire for food when we're hungry. And if sex doesn't feel good or satisfying, then it's not like that desire will actually be quelled with sex anyway.

So, since it doesn't feel good when you do it, you don't feel good about it, and you regret it, just letting those sexual desires come and then giving them a little time to let them go? That actually should not be a difficult thing, but pretty easy. It'd be a different story if your experience with it was different, and it was more than "interesting," but with what you're experiencing, it still should not feel hard to feel a desire for something you know you really aren't liking, and can't even explore in a way where you might and just let it pass.

Just like, for example, I might feel a strong craving for a food I know doesn't make me feel good. And that craving will pass and not be any big whoop.

[ 01-24-2013, 05:04 PM: Message edited by: Heather ]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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cagedbird123
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Yes, but my partner can arouse me (though pretty much never through anything sexual, usually just by talking, kissing, or his being aroused), but sex itself doesn't. My libido alone can cause me issues. Generally my cravings are so strong and last so long (a few hours to multiple days) that it's hard to ignore them, and if I do then I become verry agressive, upset, and hostile, even a bit depressive (until they go away, though these side effects may linger). That's why I usually tried ignoring them, but why it was, and is, so hard. Yesterday night for example I got very snappy and short with my partner yesterday. I didn't mean to, but I just felt very agressive because I wasn't able to satisfy my cravings (we've been on a very long sexual break).

Sex afterwards usually makes me feel depressed, unsatisfied, or both. The unsatisfacsion can even make me aggitated. It usually also makes me paranoid because of my family. Even if I don't feel these things (or even if I do) than I get a UTI. If it is bad than generally I want nothing to do with sex for a month or so (sometimes less, sometimes more). After these bad feelings or my UTI (about a week or a month) then I'm sudenly raring to go again.
When our sexual/physical time is cut short (or we almost get caught) is when I feel most guilty and absolutely terrible (as well as after or during mastrabation). I don't know why I'm like this. I always make the same mistakes a million times before I figure something out. I really don't know what to do about sex. I cannot live with it and I cannot live without it.

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Heather
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Can you clear up those questions for me I asked up there, like what you mean when you say "sex?"

It's just all but impossible for me to help you sort this out, or even know where to totally land when you say things that don't mean what I suspect they do, or how I would define them or say things that sound like they cancel each other out, which might be because you and are are using these words and terms differently.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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cagedbird123
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Sex: usually intercorse, but also oral sex and fingering/hand jobs
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Heather
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So, when you say you don't enjoy sex with this person, you mean you don't enjoy intercourse, oral sex or fingering? So, when you say you like exploring his pleasure then, you mean with sexual activities besides those?

I need to step away for a bit, but before someone else picks up with you, or before I'm back tomorrow, can I ask that you pick one of these threads for us to talk with you in? Jumping around between all of them, especially when the same issues seem to be at the heart of them, is just making this another step of harder-than-it-needs to be.

Thanks!

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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cagedbird123
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I'm sorry for bothering you and being such a hassle. We can talk in "Orgasm Is Uncomfortable, Not Pleasurable".

I enjoy preforming oral or giving hand jobs to my partner, but when he reutrns the favor and does these things for me I feel unsatisfied and a bit uncomfortable (though I crave and want these things, just like I do intercourse, but, just like intercourse, during or after I just feel unsatisfied and sad).

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