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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Bodies » One night stand

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Author Topic: One night stand
nyan344
Neophyte
Member # 74719

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Hello everyone at Scarleteen,
I'm feeling concerned about what I did last weekend. I went to a party with my friend and I ended up kissing a guy I was dancing with... but it was all very cool, actually. I may sound naive, but this guy was nice, he had a very open mind and invited me to pass the night at his place, I said yes, though I had never done it before (actually I'm a virgin, with no hurry) I thought it would be fun and I really didn't care about the risks this could take. Before we left the party we were still really turned on and having great time, but we were drunk as hell! When we arrived to his house he was telling me that he was a bit worried about me. He was 8 years older than me (he didn't seem 29, and I actually like older guys) and that probably this was the first time I did this kind of thing (leaving a party with some stranger to have sex) and he kept asking what was my friend going to do not to get caught. I thought he was nice, I felt we could get along really good, actually.

It was all fine, until I realised sex was not going to happen because we were tired, drunk and had smoke quite a lot. So we just stood in bed trying to turn each other on again, but we couldn't make it. Next morning, I got up, I took my clothes and told him I was leaving, I wrote my number on his arm and when I was about to leave he said he had to open the door for me, so we went down stairs and he walked me across the street for a cab, while this happened we were just saying that we had fun, that it was nice and right before I got into the cab he asked me if I had is number and if he had mine, I showed him my number on his arm and I already had his, he kissed me twice and I left.
About 3 days later I send him a text to "steal him on saturday" but he replied he was going to be busy. I wonder if he was really going to be busy or he just doesn't want to see me again. I liked him, but not like loved him, I think he was nice and all, though we didnt have sex it was all very cute, in a certain moment I told him I was a virgin and he was ok... but a friend of mine says it just didn`t happen because it seems he was al stressed out, we were both drunk and tired and that maybe he doesn't wants to see me again because he is ashamed, what can I do? I'd love to see him again, not sexually speaking, but I liked his personality and I think we shared something cool, so why not, right?

Am I overreacting or should I just forget him?

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"Je pense, donc je suis." - Descartes

Posts: 13 | From: Mexico | Registered: Aug 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
September
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

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I can understand feeling a little left hanging with his response.

If it were me, I would probably text one last time, repeat that I had a nice night with him and would like to see him again, and ask him if he feels the same or if he'd rather I don't contact him again.

That leaves no room for ambiguity and if he doesn't respond, or responds with another vague message about being busy, then you've got your answer, too.

I wish you luck with this! [Smile]

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Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9192 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
nyan344
Neophyte
Member # 74719

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You are probably right, sometimes I think I complicate things a lot.

How long should I wait for asking again? It's only been a week and I texted him about 3 days later after we met. I don't want to sound desperate, but I dont want to wait enough so it gets akward... aahh, I suck at this, haha. Thank you Joey [Smile]

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"Je pense, donc je suis." - Descartes

Posts: 13 | From: Mexico | Registered: Aug 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
September
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

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You know, I don't really put much stock in these arbitrary rules of how long to wait with phone calls or text messages. You can't really predict or control what other people think of you, anyway, so the best bet it to simply be straight-forward.

You're wondering about this right now, so I'd say now is a pretty good time to send that message letting him know you're wondering.

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Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9192 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
nyan344
Neophyte
Member # 74719

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Wow, hahaha I really cant believe how complicated I feel right now, I think is not good to believe in all these rules we as society put to wait and act, right? I mean, it should be just as you just said, why waiting for an appropiate moment, when that moment could be any? You are just very right, Joey. Again, THANK YOU [Smile]

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"Je pense, donc je suis." - Descartes

Posts: 13 | From: Mexico | Registered: Aug 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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