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Author Topic: Any Suggestions?
Member # 93204

Icon 5 posted      Profile for Alergnon     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
So I am working for my cousin and living with her, everything is going very very well, just I am deprived of my sexual ability to masturbate. It feels weird, because she gave up her one bedroom apartment so she took over the living room couch so she could work later or early morning so she wouldn't bother me. Her office is in the living room, and she felt me being in her bedroom would be better so she wouldn't bother me while I am sleeping. I'm feeling weird having a thought to masturbate in her bed, even with her door closed and having clean sheets. I shouldn't let that feeling get to me. The shower wouldn't work well due to I may slip and fall.

We're moving to a house on the 31st and I will have privacy there, a 4 bedroom house and very big I would feel comfortable doing that then. I'm just feeling very deprived.

How should I over come this? It's more of a fear of she walking in, which she knocks before. She never bothers me, I always close the door when I'm going to bed.

I just don't know how to get past this. Any suggestions or ideas?

Posts: 517 | From: Canada | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Honestly, I think this is something where you just decide if you're comfortable masturbating as a guest or not.

Not masturbating doesn't do anyone any harm, but at the same time, most people masturbate, and it's not like you're harming her home in doing so.

So, you decide how you feel about it for yourself and just make a choice.

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 93204

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Okay, awkward! My cousin went to a meeting and I decided to go to 'bed' early, I feared she would come back and hearing me masturbate in a closed bedroom. I climaxed and I was parnoid I went out and saw her checking things on her computer, that wall is the wall from the room. I don't know if she heard me. I came out, she asked me if I was okay, I swear she knew something I said i 'm thirsty. Got water. I was frozen thinking of what to say, I then said I hate this thing on my nose, she said its a scab healing from sunburn. I'm now scared. I'm on my cell phone scared. How cam anyone face family after they heard me masturbate or maybe I'm parnoid, am I?
Posts: 517 | From: Canada | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Alergnon, I think I can empathize with you about this. Sometimes, when I'm talking to myself (something I do all the time that helps comfort me), even with my door closed and whispering, I think my brother or someone else can hear me and will hear me. It always turns out that they didn't hear me; and I'd only think they did or could have because of the subject matter. If I had been talking about the stock market or the environment, I wouldn't have given paranoia or overhearing a second thought. It may be the same with you masturbating. For example, if you were in your room just listening to music or YouTube watching, you might not be as concerned about her overhearing your activities; since they're not as personal as masturbating. Does that help at all?

Your cousin is probably not unaware of masturbating as it is, and probably has her own needs, as well; so even if she did hear you (which is a big "if," since your door was closed, walls are usually thick enough to avoid overhearing, she was probably focused on her work and not on any sounds around her, and she wasn't pressed up against the wall or your door as it was), I'm sure she wouldn't find your masturbating at all alarming. It's a normal and acceptable part of everyday life. If you do not feel comfortable masturbating there, you can always wait until the end of the month, when you move into a larger home. [Smile]

"I do the best that I can. I'm just what I am." - Rush (Best I Can)

Posts: 692 | From: Canada | Registered: May 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Yeah, I totally get how awkward that feels. I've been caught a few times when I was little and didn't master the art of, as I like to call it, "getting-off without getting caught". I guess you could say I was like the Obi-Wan Kenobi of awkwardly getting caught masturbating. [Big Grin] I've never told a soul about these experiences I've had, but that's okay since I just want you to know that there are people out there who've gone through the same uncomfortable thing.

One time, when I was like 7 or 8 years old, I was in a room by myself waiting for someone for a little while. I didn't know at the time that what I was doing was called masturbation, and I also didn't know that there was anything socially "strange" about doing that; but I was bored and wanted something fun to do. A student randomly walked in and when she saw what I was doing, she turned around really quickly and ran out, so... Yeah, that was awkward. hahaha Another time I was caught by one of my cousins and I thought I was going to die of embarrassment. Needless to say, I didn't, since I'm typing to you right now. [Wink] I have other stories from when I was little regarding this, but my point is that I get where you're coming from here. Don't worry, you're not alone on this one. [Smile]

Regarding your situation, though: 1. There's a possibility your cousin might not have even heard you at all and 2. Even if she did, as Heather mentioned earlier, most people masturbate. It's a natural thing, you know? I know society doesn't treat it that way (especially for women), but that doesn't make it any less common for people to do. Hey, she probably does it, too! Who knows? I know that might not help you feel any less awkward about it now, but you might be able to look back on it later and laugh like, "Yeah, that was awkward. Good times! lol" I can only give you advice based what I did when I was caught by mom (and I still live with my parents now since I'm not in college yet, so I think it worked out pretty successfully [Smile] ): Just face your cousin like you would during any other time and, after a while, you and your cousin (if she even knows) will forget about it. If you like each other enough, you'll be able to move past it. My cousin did. [Smile]

[ 07-08-2012, 10:19 PM: Message edited by: MusicNerd ]

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~Dr. Seuss

Posts: 301 | From: a galaxy far, far away... | Registered: Jun 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 93204

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Yea I've woke up a lot last night and it's not even 5am yet. I don't wake up during the night it's rare, maybe once or twice and my allergies are througb the roof again. Yea she may not of knoiwn at all eh, I guess I should let this to be and tell myself to stop obsessing. Well, going to take allery pills and sleep for the next 3 hours till I have to get up.
Posts: 517 | From: Canada | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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