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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Bodies » Libido

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Author Topic: Libido
fiveanddime
Activist
Member # 95068

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I had a rough patch with my boyfriend, mostly because we were both really stressed out and overworked. Our relationship was physical (cuddling) but not very sexual during this time. Recently we were apart for a week, and I realized that I did want to be with him.

We've seen each other the past couple of days, and it's been really easy and simple. However, I'm not finding myself interested in sex of any kind, with him or with anyone else. I'm surprised by my sudden loss of libido, especially because I'm not that stressed out right now. Does libido just disappear? Will it come back?

Posts: 61 | Registered: Feb 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Kachina
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 42505

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Hi fiveanddime. If I'm understanding you correctly, you are saying you haven't felt like having sex for the past couple days? That doesn't sound like libido "disappearing". Most people won't want to have sex EVERY day. Not wanting sex sometimes is pretty normal, and likely there will be a day eventually where you feel desire again. What makes us feel desire can be pretty complex, it could be about how your are feeling about your relationship, about how rested/active you are, about what you are thinking about, etc.

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~Kat
Scarleteen Volunteer

Humans are allergic to change. They love to say, "We've always done it this way." I try to fight that. That's why I have a clock on my wall that runs counter-clockwise. - Grace Hopper

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fiveanddime
Activist
Member # 95068

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Exactly. It's like I just don't feel any interest in anything remotely sexual. In fact, I'm not even that interested in relationships right now. I've been pretty sick this week, so that's probably contributing. But for some reason, I'm just not that passionate about anything. I have no idea where it came from, and that's scary.
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Saffron Raymie
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 49582

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It may be due to the trouble you've had in your relationship. It can be incredibly difficult to re-think a relationship, have a break, then go straight back into a sexual relationship. We often need time to gradually warm back up again. Relationship conflict can be very emotionally draining, and we can feel numb afterwards, like nothing is worth the effort of caring about. Do I have that right?

Also, as Kat said, a couple of days really isn't a long time to not feel sexual. especially when you've been ill. Know what I mean?

Here's a link that might help: Where's my Sex Drive Driven off to?

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'Obtain the virgin's consent before you marry her' - Prophet Mohammad (pbuh)

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