Donate Now
  New Poll  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Bodies » Snappy comebacks!

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: Snappy comebacks!
Ecofem
Activist
Member # 13388

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Ecofem     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
So you're out minding your own business, living your own life, and then someone makes a judgemental comment on your appearance. (About what you're wearing, your body, etc.) [Confused] [Mad] [Frown]

It can be a stranger or someone near and dear, but either way it can really get to you. Such comments are inappropriate but it happens time and time again. You don't owe them a response, but it can help to have a comeback prepared. Something simple like "I can't believe you said that!" to a response more situation specific.

Unfortunately, this is something most everyone has experienced at one point. What have you said (or wish you had said)? Please share! [Smile]

Posts: 3318 | Registered: Jun 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
James the Dark
Activist
Member # 32379

Icon 1 posted      Profile for James the Dark     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I once had a thirteen year old girl turn a corner, take one look at me, then run away screaming in genuine terror. High school was not kind to me.

What I wish I did was run after her with my arms out 'zombie-style' moaning like a vertical undead, justifying her reaction to my presense.

--------------------
"And you're really asking me if I prefer injury to embarrassment? That's not even a choice. I don't know anybody who's literally died of embarrassment."

People are annoying sometimes.

Posts: 78 | From: Summerside, PEI, Canada | Registered: Jan 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Juniata
Activist
Member # 24611

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Juniata     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Once at a party, I was dancing by this guy I knew from class, and I said, "you're kind of cute." He was drunk, and he looked at me appraisingly and said: "You're really smart, but you're lacking physically." I didn't respond cleverly because I was very hurt, but the next day I told loads of my friends, who commiserated with their own horror stories and helped me re-affirm my body image (we also looked at his EXTREMELY unflattering facebook profile for context).

--------------------
I LOVE SCARLETEEN. This site is better than sliced bread!

Posts: 83 | From: Northeast | Registered: Jul 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
hunnybunny888
Activist
Member # 29737

Icon 1 posted      Profile for hunnybunny888     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
i find just ignoring them to be most effective, then they don't get any satisfaction
Posts: 246 | From: canada | Registered: Jul 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
-Lauren-
Activist
Member # 25983

Icon 1 posted      Profile for -Lauren-     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Stare penetratingly at them for a moment and reply softly, "What a genuinely unkind thing to say." Walk away.

I guarantee they'll be racked with guilt and shame, which will cut deeper than any smartassed reply.

Posts: 4636 | From: USA/Northern Europe | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Once at a party, I was dancing by this guy I knew from class, and I said, "you're kind of cute." He was drunk, and he looked at me appraisingly and said: "You're really smart, but you're lacking physically."
One, of course, would hope to christ no one ever says this to you again, but should that same interchange happen again (or should you want to imagine having gotten a zinger in, for your own fantasy satisfaction)?

A nice one would have been, "Huh. Now I know you're drunk, but since I had thought you were cute, guess I must be pretty drunk myself."

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
ladydexter
Activist
Member # 17567

Icon 1 posted      Profile for ladydexter     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
The best number I pulled was with my ex-boyfriend. His grandmother spoke Gujarati so he taught me a little before we broke up. One of his favourite tricks was to swear at people in Gujarati (presumably so they didn't lamp him for it). When we broke up, he decided to call me something extremely unflattering (it translated roughly to "shameless mother****ing whore"), and I turned round and blasted the male equivalent back at him without missing a beat.

Watching him try to find a sufficient insult to respond with in his own language was quite hysterical - more so when he failed to do so and got all huffy about being made to look like a prat. *evil grin*

Posts: 336 | From: Manchester, UK | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Ciara
Neophyte
Member # 33032

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Ciara     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I think I will try Miss Lauren's tact next time, sounds good. But this one has never failed me " The next time I want the opinion of a Homo Erectus I will dig one up and have him cloned." Most of them spend the next ten minutes trying to find out what a homo erectus is and why I compared them to one, then they have to go home and wikipedia it.

--------------------
Loving Life, Riding the road. Mitakuye Oyasin!

Posts: 15 | From: Rome Ga | Registered: Mar 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Sybil
Neophyte
Member # 30756

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Sybil     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Best thing I ever said...

My ex-boyfriend told me I'd look better if I lost weight.

Sooooo, my response was "And you'd look better single."

Other than that, when people are rude to me at work, I simply just tell them how uncalled for their comment was and that I do not bother helping people like that.

Posts: 18 | From: Detroit | Registered: Sep 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
-Lauren-
Activist
Member # 25983

Icon 1 posted      Profile for -Lauren-     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
LOL. Sybil, I only reserve this for the best.. that owned. Seriously. [Big Grin]
Posts: 4636 | From: USA/Northern Europe | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
babybear
Activist
Member # 30364

Icon 1 posted      Profile for babybear     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I was buying deli meat.

The slicer gave me a piece of cheese because I "look like I'm starving". I'm a skinny gal [112lbs, 5'2".

So, I took the cheese, shoved it in my mouth like I hadn't eaten anything in 10 years, licked my fingers, and smiled. I didn't have to say one word!

=]

Posts: 250 | From: somewhere | Registered: Aug 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
daria319
Activist
Member # 19692

Icon 1 posted      Profile for daria319     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I love telling drunk men who decide to bash me in one way or another (usually for BEING drunk) "I'll be sober in the morning, but you'll still be stupid."

--------------------
"You owe me two lifetimes and a pair of perfect blue eyes."

Posts: 407 | From: Georgia | Registered: Aug 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
LucysDiamonds
Activist
Member # 30315

Icon 1 posted      Profile for LucysDiamonds     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
(Hee hee. daria, that reminds me of that famous Winston Churchill quote:

Lady Astor: Mr. Churchill, you're drunk!
Churchill: Yes, madame, but you're ugly, and tomorrow I shall be sober.

[Big Grin] )

--------------------
So if you care to find me
Look to the western sky
As someone told me lately
Everyone deserves the chance to fly

Posts: 365 | From: DC | Registered: Aug 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
mizchastain
Activist
Member # 32224

Icon 1 posted      Profile for mizchastain     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I had a guy verbally sexually harass me and yank out my hair on the school bus. Finally got him kicked off about a year ago. Ran into him on the street a week or so ago and he sarcastically said "Still looking slim?"

I've been actually wanting to run into him and have him say that again so I can say "Why yes, your mother asked me for some diet tips."

Bringing their mothers into it is probably playing dirty, but after what he did to me for months, I don't care.

[ 03-20-2007, 02:14 PM: Message edited by: mizchastain ]

Posts: 475 | From: UK | Registered: Jan 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
November
Activist
Member # 29762

Icon 1 posted      Profile for November     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
i was friends with a group of guys for two years and started dating one of them for 8 months, he broke up with me online and refused to talk to me about it. a week later i was hanging out with some friends and he was there. i decided to take advantage of it and said, "i need to talk to you." and the self-involved ******* that he is he said, "but i don't need to talk to you." which was great because i didn't want him to respond to any of the stuff i had to say, so i just started yelling at him about how self-centered he is and how everything always has to be about him or else he calls the person "selfish," i told him he was just like his dad who he hates. i then said, "you are a shitty boyfriend" he said, "no, honey, ex-boyfriend." and this is where i want to give myself a gold medal in kicking ex-bf's asses, i said, "no, you WERE a shitty boyfriend, you ARE a shitty ex-boyfriend." and he was speachless so i slammed the door as hard as i could and was on my way.

he later called me a "stupid crazy bitch" because i wanted to apoligize to his parents because they found a i bought him, when it turns out his parents didn't really find it, he just wanted to make me feel bad. then he threatened me because i still had a sweater of his and i forgot to give it to him because one of our friends was put into a mental hospital, i told you he was selfish. and then he got offended when he found out that i blocked him on AIM. but whatever, he's still a pothead and will be for the rest of his life.

(Just a quick edit to comply with our guidelines on discussion of illegal activity. [Smile] - Lauren)

[ 03-21-2007, 02:35 AM: Message edited by: Miss Lauren ]

Posts: 63 | From: US | Registered: Jul 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
SnowLhite
Neophyte
Member # 29534

Icon 1 posted      Profile for SnowLhite     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Originally posted by James the Dark:
I once had a thirteen year old girl turn a corner, take one look at me, then run away screaming in genuine terror. High school was not kind to me.

What I wish I did was run after her with my arms out 'zombie-style' moaning like a vertical undead, justifying her reaction to my presense.

Lol. I think we'd get on well. I've had the same reaction when someone saw my toes... I have slightly webbed toes, my friend saw them jumped up screamed and ran away. It was actually kinda funny, and it succeded in making my other friend feel better after they'd laughed at his toes. (his little toe is curled on top of his other toe, making his footprints only have four toes)

Some of my classmates have a habit of calling me "Satan", "The Devil", "Samara", and various other things. I just tell them I'm reserving a special hell for them. Kudos if you get the reference.
They also call me "Snowy" cuz I'm ridiculously pale. I just adopted the name.
It's the tactic I use - I've been known to be the one who when someone calls someone else a b*tch to tell them not to use my name in vain. People call me a sl*t and I just go "Yes?"
The best was still when one night one of my guy friends & I went to a gig.
Him: "Could you possily be wearing any less?"
Me: "Yes"

[ 03-21-2007, 08:42 AM: Message edited by: SnowLhite ]

--------------------
"Love and let love."

~Snowy~

Posts: 32 | From: HELL also Cape Town, South Africa | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Selkie
Activist
Member # 33078

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Selkie     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
LLL, I Love doing that, when someone asks could you possibly... or are you sure... I always go yes/no (depending on the situation) and prombptly do it.. it's halarious.
Once recived a nickname at school, I hated it to hell until I adopted it, then suddenly it felt so good AND they stopped calling me it.. ^.^

--------------------
"Fear is the mind-killer"
-Don't be afraid.

Posts: 117 | From: I'd prefer to keep it private | Registered: Mar 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
mizchastain
Activist
Member # 32224

Icon 1 posted      Profile for mizchastain     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Oh, here's a not-especially-snappy but rather entertaining comeback;
http://www.ozyandmillie.org/d/20030502.html
Ozy is just the cutest little thing ^_^

Posts: 475 | From: UK | Registered: Jan 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gumdrop Girl
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 568

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Gumdrop Girl     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
A long, long time ago, when I was in first grade, this kid used to pester me because I'm Asian. He'd pull back on the corners of his eyes and do that stupid mock Chinese talk ("ching chong ching chong" puh-LEEZE! I don't even know Chinese!).

This went on for a few weeks, and it'd always piss me off.

Then one day, I drew back in a kung-fu stance and pretended to do a karate chop at him.

Kid took off running and never gave me grief ever again.

I wish that could've been the last of it, but alas, I have run into a fair number of morons in my life.

--------------------
LA County STD Hotline 1.800.758.0880
Toll free STD and clinic information, and condoms sent to your door for Los Angeles County residents.
1 in 3 sexually active people will be exposed to a STD by the time they turn 24.

Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
mizchastain
Activist
Member # 32224

Icon 1 posted      Profile for mizchastain     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Gumdrop Girl; I remember a comic kinda like that. Some woman was pestering an Asian girl's friend;

"That's it! Prepare to learn ... THE ANCIENT CHINESE SECRET OF THE BOWEL-EMPTYING DRAGON DEATH GRIP NOOGIE!"
"NOOOOOOOO!" *runs away*
"... It amazes me what they'll believe, so long as you're Asian and precede what you're saying with 'Ancient Chinese Secret'."

Posts: 475 | From: UK | Registered: Jan 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
SnowLhite
Neophyte
Member # 29534

Icon 1 posted      Profile for SnowLhite     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Originally posted by Selkie:
Once recived a nickname at school, I hated it to hell until I adopted it, then suddenly it felt so good AND they stopped calling me it.. ^.^

No, they still call me them, but I dunt mind. Some my other classmates (the ones I dunt mind) have now taken to going "Satan?" when they see me - it's become like a private joke. One of my other classmates still calls me Snowy, but she can call me anything she likes...
And anyway, if they hadn't started that I wouldn't have my awesome screenname.

--------------------
"Love and let love."

~Snowy~

Posts: 32 | From: HELL also Cape Town, South Africa | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
James the Dark
Activist
Member # 32379

Icon 1 posted      Profile for James the Dark     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Originally posted by SnowLhite:
I just tell them I'm reserving a special hell for them. Kudos if you get the reference.

Shepherd Book to Malcolm Reynolds: If you take sexual advantage of that girl, you are going to a special hell. One they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theatre.

Show: Firefly. Episode: Our Mrs. Reynolds.

[/derailment]

--------------------
"And you're really asking me if I prefer injury to embarrassment? That's not even a choice. I don't know anybody who's literally died of embarrassment."

People are annoying sometimes.

Posts: 78 | From: Summerside, PEI, Canada | Registered: Jan 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
daria319
Activist
Member # 19692

Icon 1 posted      Profile for daria319     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Originally posted by Gumdrop Girl:
A long, long time ago, when I was in first grade, this kid used to pester me because I'm Asian. He'd pull back on the corners of his eyes and do that stupid mock Chinese talk ("ching chong ching chong" puh-LEEZE! I don't even know Chinese!).

This went on for a few weeks, and it'd always piss me off.

Then one day, I drew back in a kung-fu stance and pretended to do a karate chop at him.

Kid took off running and never gave me grief ever again.

I wish that could've been the last of it, but alas, I have run into a fair number of morons in my life.

There were some local teens who used hang around the mall and harass Asian shop-owners like that. What gets me is that the kids who do things like this are usually anime fans or know SOMETHING about Japanese culture. One day, I watched the owner of a small weaponry shop I frequent(I nicknamed this lady "indestructible obasan") who walked up to one girl who was mocking her, straightened up, looked her dead in the face and said (in flawless English) "If you do that one more time, I'll kancho your [butt] so hard your Grandma will feel it!" and got into 'kancho stance' (hands folded together, index fingers pointed out). The girl ran.

I cracked up. First of all, I've NEVER heard this woman speak English before. Second, I knew what kancho was to start with, and was thoroughly shocked the kid did too. Indestructible Obasan apparently got a good laugh out of it too -- she invited me to join in! Now, whenever I'm at the mall, I hang out on the bench in front of her shop and waggle my 'kancho fingers' at the local teenagers.

Talk about a snappy (and odd) comeback!

--------------------
"You owe me two lifetimes and a pair of perfect blue eyes."

Posts: 407 | From: Georgia | Registered: Aug 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
KendallK
Neophyte
Member # 94802

Icon 1 posted      Profile for KendallK     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
These are great. I can never remember what to say when I need a snappy reply.

This was a great comeback:

My ex-boyfriend told me I'd look better if I lost weight.

Sooooo, my response was "And you'd look better single."

I am going to try and remember that one. I get remarks about my weight. I tell people: Be careful, I ate the last person who commented on my weight!

I didn't make it up. I got that one from a site I should have said. They have some funny comebacks.

http://www.ishouldhavesaid.net/vote/

Posts: 1 | From: near Seattle | Registered: Feb 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
techie
Activist
Member # 61437

Icon 1 posted      Profile for techie     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
At a sluts'n'studs themed party.

"Could you -be- wearing any less clothing?"
"I could... but not for a bastard like you. *sweet smile*"

Posts: 160 | From: England | Registered: Apr 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
ILoveYouBaby19
Neophyte
Member # 94747

Icon 1 posted      Profile for ILoveYouBaby19     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
once i over heard a couple of girls talking about all the people in the school who have had sex and who are sluts, well they noticed me by the way at that time im pregnant, and asked me
" and how many people have you slept with"
me being me stood there and made myself look like i was thinking really hard after a lil bit i looked at them and said
" well now that you ask im not sure i can remember or could even count high enough anyways but if i remember correctly i believe one of them was your older broth you know Sam."
( just so everyone knows the name was made up and the girl who asked use to be an old friend which is how i knew her older brother who i still kept contact with, i also got a hold of him that night and told him what happened he thought it was hilarious and even though i didnt ask him to said he would go along just to see the look on her face)
i love how having sex with one person and getting pregnant by them makes you a slut and im glad that me and him are together to this day and are happy now that i think of this i think i should get a hold of Sam and see if we can meet up.

--------------------
I believe in the compelling power of love. I do not understand it. I believe it to be the most fragrant blossom of all this thorny existence. Theodore Dreiser

Posts: 30 | From: Marion,Ohio | Registered: Feb 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Kawani3792
Activist
Member # 48854

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Kawani3792     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
It wasn't a comment, but i was at a camp out/sleep over that a parent threw for the end of eighth grade. Everyone had their big fancy tents set up and was sitting around the campfire playing truth or dare. I was much cooler than them. I was hanging out with the younger sister of the student whose house we were camping out at, stealing the streamers that were everywhere and decorating my one person child-size tent. In my tiny little white skirt and frilly white tank top, plus knee-high zip up black boots with great big heels. It was an eighties themed party, of course. On the bright side, I totally won the costume contest.

So i'm doing this and someone runs over and slaps me on the butt. I turn around and see who it was, excused myself from tent decorating, and went over to ask them to leave me out of it.
In retrospect, seventy five percent of the kids there wouldn't go near me if their life depended on it. They giggled like small children and blushed during sex ed. I had been masturbating for about three years at this point, hadn't started my period, had no boyfriend, had no shame...I was invincible, as far as truth or dare went. I wish I'd thought to ask if i could play. They would have been a lot more awkward than I was!

Posts: 183 | From: USA | Registered: Sep 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
moonlight bouncing off water
Peer Ambassador
Member # 44338

Icon 1 posted      Profile for moonlight bouncing off water     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
This thread is awesome, I love the way that all of you have responded to people who were being jerks!

I myself usually just ignore stupid comments. Recently however, I was in the computer lab at school and I was talking to a friend. She had asked me what LGBTQ stands for and so I told her. Someone sitting next to me said something like: "wow, you just said every word that has 'sexual'in it". I responded with: "no I didn't: asexual, pansexual, sexuality, sexual orientation, ... okay there, now that should be about all of them", smiled and turned back to my friend and continued the conversation.

--------------------
~moonlight

I am ME and that is the only label I need.

Posts: 864 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Oct 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Jill2000Plus
Activist
Member # 41657

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Jill2000Plus     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
But moonlight bouncing off water, did you remember to mention heteroSEXUALS? Cause that would really drive the point home "hah you see, gay queer homosexual gayness is all about the SEXXX! It says it in the name!" "You do realise hetero and het are shortened words right? You know, like how Bob is short for Robert? And also like, hellooo, there's one X, not 3."

--------------------
Always knock before entering my room when I am in there alone, as I may be doing all sorts of wonderfully thrilling things that I'd rather you didn't see.

Posts: 840 | From: UK | Registered: Dec 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
moonlight bouncing off water
Peer Ambassador
Member # 44338

Icon 1 posted      Profile for moonlight bouncing off water     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Hmm, I think that I might have although I'm not sure. Certainly if the situation came up again (which seems unlikely) I will!

--------------------
~moonlight

I am ME and that is the only label I need.

Posts: 864 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Oct 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

  New Poll   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3