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Author Topic: Do I have an eating disorder? Please help..
BreakingSilence
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Member # 38098

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I honestly don't remember the last time I've actually had 2,000 calories in a day. I dream of being thin when I'm 103lbs (knowing I'm already thin). I also don't remember the last time I ate 3 meals in one day. 1-2 days a week I eat one huge meal until I feel miserably full, and regretful. the rest of the week I'm extremely strict on everything I eat. If I eat a candy bar, that basically counts as a meal for me. Because of my work situation it's very hard for me to eat healthy or properly. I will usually drink at least one protein drink a day. I live on those and special k bars.
I don't know what this means, but no matter what I eat, even water will cause my stomach to swell and bloat. it makes me feel terribly guilty.. This is another reason why I refuse to eat much. Often times my stomach becomes so bloated I look at least 5 months pregnant. Eating one meal makes me feel so full which makes me feel sick to my stomach. Also I refuse to eat anything with a lot of carbs. After i eat my 1-2 real meals a week i constantly stare at my stomach and complain about how big it got from eating. I openly admit that I'd rather go hungry than to let my stomach get bloated ( which makes me sick) I'm obsessed with calories, my weight, sizes and will tend to eat more when I'm bored, but feel so guilty that I wish I could throw up. I'm constantly hungry and my stomach will feel empty at least 95% of the week. Im actually hungry at this moment.
I'm always comparing myself to younger girls who are "stick thin" and wish I looked like them. I think to myself " if I eat this I'll never look like them". I made an appointment with a specialist to find out what's causing my stomach to swell so much, but I don't go until next week.
Does this sound like an eating disorder? If so can you please explain. Thank you

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Sometimes the only thing we can do is accept what we have no control over.

Posts: 313 | From: :) | Registered: Apr 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
September
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Member # 25425

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It does sound like you are dealing with some form of disordered eating. The bloating issue is certainly compounding that, and I am glad to hear that you are already going to see a doctor about that (otherwise I would have suggested it as your first step), but I do think that you have a very negative relationship with your body and with food.

Preferring to go hungry, disliking the feeling of food in your stomach, limiting your food-intake and counting calories, and actively wanting to be thinner - all of those are signs of disordered eating.

I would suggest that you see someone about that. Are you in college? If so, the health center there is a really good start.

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Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9192 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
BreakingSilence
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Thanks. No, I'm not in college . Is there anywhere else I can go?

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Sometimes the only thing we can do is accept what we have no control over.

Posts: 313 | From: :) | Registered: Apr 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
September
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There's several ways to approach this. One thing you can do is take a look around for support groups in your area. You can find those listed online, and usually in local newspapers. Another thing you can do is talk to your doctor and ask to be referred to a nutritionist. They can help you develop a better relationship with food, and get a better sense of what your body needs. Finally, you can see a counselor to work on raising your self-esteem and feeling better about yourself. You can also get the referral to a psychologist from your regular doctor.

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Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9192 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
BreakingSilence
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Member # 38098

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Ok, great! Thank you:)

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Sometimes the only thing we can do is accept what we have no control over.

Posts: 313 | From: :) | Registered: Apr 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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