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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Bodies » Starving myself ??

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Author Topic: Starving myself ??
Amyyy
Neophyte
Member # 54946

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Hi, I've read the post about how weight loss isnt an issue to be discussed on here but it's not so much weight loss as worrying about eating in general. To give a bit of background info, I used to starve myself a few years g=ago, I've also made myself get sick on purpose on more than one occasion, I no that its bad so I stopped and started eating regularily.

This year I moved away to collage and all the issues regarding body image have returned, I've dropped 2 dress sizes in 2 months and I can feel my ribs, something that I've not experienced before. I love loosing weight but I'm not sure if what I'm doing is healthy and I'm getting really worried. I keep blaming exercise or not having time to eat proper meals in collage but the truth is is that I've been starving myself again. I feel disgusting if I eat food and I perfer the feeling of being hungry to the one of being full, I actually feel sick if I eat a proper meal and I'm starting to make myself get sick again. I just feel better when I'm empty if that makes sense. I keep saying to myself I can stop any time I want, but I just really dont want to stop, and I'm not sure if I can. I fainted in work last week (I work in a supermarket on weekends)and I no its from not eating.

I guess Im just worried that I wont be able to stop, my period is usually every 28 days or so but for the last few times its come every 2 weeks and I'm not sure if it has anyting to do with the weight loss... Sorry for nagging you but I'm really worried, Its not too serious is it ??

Thanks

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Amyyy

Posts: 25 | From: Ireland | Registered: Feb 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Well, you are describing behaviors and thoughts which make pretty clear you have had an eating disorder for some time now. And that's something we know is often serious and can get incredibly serious: disordered eating often has serious effects on your health now and long-term.

So, we'd strongly advise that you seek out help now. Because again: yes, this IS serious.

You can start by telling a healthcare provider you see for other things about all of this -- and you really want to be honest about everything, like you're being here -- and let them get started on helping you, or can seek out treatment specifically for eating disorders directly.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Amyyy
Neophyte
Member # 54946

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Thanks for replying so fast, But the thing is it dosnt feel serious, it dosnt feel like a 'disorder', i dont like that word. I feel better when i look at myself in the mirror now than i ever have, Im starting to nearly 'like' the way i look.

I feel like if i talk to someone about this im just wasting peoples time, i dont tend to talk about myself with people, not these type of things anyway. I've thought about talking to my best friend but I would definatly not be comfortable talking to anyone else.

I thought people with eating 'disorders' hated the way they look, i dont hate myself in that way because im the skinniest ive ever been, i was a size 16 and now size 12 is loose on me. Ive had so much more confidence lately and im trying on clothes and wearing dresses that a few months ago id rather of died than wear, surely this is a good thing ?? Im so confused

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Amyyy

Posts: 25 | From: Ireland | Registered: Feb 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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You're not wasting anyone's time by talking about this.

How people with EDs feel about themselves and their bodies varies, but the more common thread is how people with EDs feel about food and eating: what you've said here is all pretty textbook. I understand you don't like that term, but people with the ability to eat enough food who choose not to, who starve themselves, who won't eat enough even when they're passing out? That is disordered eating: it's what it is.

Your best friend can't likely treat you for this so you can develop a new relationship with food and your body that lasts and will keep you healthy instead of making you ill. So, again, I would very strongly suggest you talk to someone who does have the education and practice to help you here.

P.S. When someone says they hate themselves less because they are the thinnest they have ever been? That's a pretty clear statement of not liking your body unless you feel thin. Again, this links strongly to EDs, especially anorexia.

For more information, why don't you take a look here: http://www.bodywhys.ie/aboutED/general-information/

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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