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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Bodies » Male perceptions of cunnilingus and fellatio

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Author Topic: Male perceptions of cunnilingus and fellatio
gourlegr
Neophyte
Member # 50375

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Hi. I was wondering why guys are so quick to brag about getting blow jobs, but are very reluctant to similarly talk about going down on girls. For example, when talking to some teenage boys in my high school, they were all proud to boast about the blow jobs they've gotten. However, when I brought up the subject of cunnilingus (my favorite sexual act), everyone was very quiet and tried to change the subject. One even said eating out was "unmanly." However, talking to these guys privately revealed they also liked cunnilingus, but didn't says so because they thought other guys would mock them.
So my question is, why are males so ashamed of eating out females, even when they love the act?

Posts: 5 | From: South Orange | Registered: Dec 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Let's start by making clear that you haven't heard this from "Men," as in, the group of all people in the world who are men. You've heard it from some boys in your school, who don't and can't represent men as a whole.

So, when you ask, "why are males so ashamed of eating out females, even when they love the act?"

My answer is going to be, "To my knowledge, they're not, but what men enjoy also varies. Some men do love engaging in cunnilingus, others are lukewarm, others aren't into it at all. And how men feel about it varies, too." because that's what I know from the information we do have about this from men as a much, much broader group than one group of teenage boys.

But about that group? One thing that's important to recognize is that for a lot of people (not just men), peer groups like that aren't exactly supportive spaces for free discourse about sex. In other words, there are often peer group norms in terms of what gets talked about, how it gets talked about and what is and is not supposed to be cool and okay. And in male peer groups, especially with very young men, there are often a whole lot of masculinity issues and posturing flying around, which those guys made pretty clear to you in your private conversations about this.

What that tells you is more about that peer group than anything else, even if those dynamics are pretty common with groups of young guys. What it doesn't probably give you any information about at all is how they feel about anything sexual, if you catch my drift. In order to know that about someone, you usually have to share safer space, like it sounds like you may have had alone in those private discussions.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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