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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Bodies » menstruation guilt

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Author Topic: menstruation guilt
naive_90
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This is going to sound incredibly odd, personally i never heard of anyone feeling the way i do.
I am ashamed of having my period. i dont even know if that is the way to describe it. i feel guilty about it. like i am being punished, or i did something wrong.
The first time i ever had my period, i cried. i didnt tell anyone. i felt like i had lost some sort of innocence, and was unclean or something. not even my mom, until i needed more pads. i still to this day hate buying tampons myself. i try to go into the isle when no one else is around it. then i make sure i go to a female cashier.
in high school i started running cross country and my period stopped for almost a year. it was great. i loved it. i know that it is not healthy but i didnt care.in college it started coming back and becoming regular. heavier as well. i was on the university's cross country team and running up to 75 miles a week. i would literally cry about it.
when it started coming back i was so freaked out i stopped eating as much to try to make it go away. i would avoid foods i thought that might help my body to menstruate. I tried running more.

my mother always thought i was anorexic. looking back i was not avoiding food to be thin, i was avoiding food to avoid my period.

Now, i am on the pill. it helps because my periods are super light, and i skip them as well. i dont feel as guilty about them this way i guess since it makes my periods shorter and lighter... its presence is less known i guess.

well i guess thats about it to my ramble. no question really... i just wanted to see if anyone else had the same feeling on periods...

Posts: 34 | From: Maryland | Registered: Jan 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Saffron Raymie
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That doesn't sound odd.

I'm sorry it's been so awful for you. When I started menstruration I felt like I was injured or ill, and needed help. It also seemed like I was growing up before I was ready; like my body was doing something a bit weird. I also used to feel embarrassed buying tampons, I'd always buy lots of other stuff to; to distract the cashier, and talk a lot about other things, and quickly slip them into my bag.

I understand what you mean in that you felt like you have 'lost some sort of innocence'; I felt like I'd done something sexual without meaning to; just by growing up. I do think this is because the adult XX (female) body is made out to be a sexual object itself by other people, in the fact that the very nature of the body is presented as extremely provokative just by being unclothed, and I do find this very harmful.

I think periods should be a lot more celebrated in our culture, like when XY people or boys first get facial hair, it's seen as so cool and grown up. If the XX or female body wasn't treated like it is by culture, we could avoid girls feeling like their body is weird compared to other people, or that its not our own.

Honestly, it's no wonder you feel like you do, but the XX female body really is an amazing, amazing, fantastic thing. Some people even make art with their lining from the uterus - which is what comes out. The uterus is a brilliant, sacred organ; and the strongest muscle in the human body (out of XY male or XX female!) and a safe haven for a baby to grow on day if you choose that in the future - but that's not for everyone.

I really do understand why you feel the way you do, and you're not alone; it's really common to be freaked out; but our bodies are great. I'm here if you would like to say more.

Here's some good articles that show how common it is to feel uncomfortable with mensturation:

http://www.scarleteen.com/article/body/on_the_rag_a_guide_to_menstruation

http://www.scarleteen.com/blog/heather_corinna/2009/04/10/that_first_period_talk

http://www.scarleteen.com/blog/abbie/2008/01/31/an_unfortunate_combination_periods_and_pants

[Smile]

[ 01-04-2011, 12:51 PM: Message edited by: RaeRay2112 ]

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~ Saffy
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To my Abuser: I'm seeing stars. I bet you can't do that.

Posts: 1265 | From: England | Registered: Oct 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
gleestar
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It sounds like you are depressed =( you should try to speek to someone about this. I was like that, I didn't tell my mom for a day after I started and when I told her, I cryed.
its normal to be abit self counchiouse - i am also on the cross contry team at school nut not because of that, i Just like running =) but I hated it too - the school gave me a guidence councler to talk to about it - your a woman and its impotant that you feel comftible. maybe as you are older than me you could try a phiciatrist?

you should be happy.
just remeber that it realy dousn't matter =)

Posts: 24 | From: uk | Registered: Feb 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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