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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Bodies » Question about playing with yourself

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Author Topic: Question about playing with yourself
Fezzz
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Well, most of you know that I have issues with sexual stuff because of my past, so I think this is why I'm doing this but anyway... my question/problem is everytime I masturbate I preform a kagel excersize, which makes a toy have alot more friction insdie me, which is uncomfortable.

Every now and then I'll relax it and it feels great, but not when I'm tense. But here's the thing... I'm relaxed, just not my vagina. Help please.


Also at the bottom of my vagina enterence... the skin there between your vagina and anus... that hurts a little after I play with my toy, it feels like it is tearing, hurts alot.

[ 08-13-2010, 11:38 PM: Message edited by: Fezzz ]

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Some people say I have A.D.D., but they just don't underst-- ooh! Look! A chicken!!

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EmilyV-NonPkid
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I believe it's more of a state of mind. So if you're vagina's tight for some reason, you might be stressed. I can say this because I don't always wear tampons during my period. I wear them once (especially on the second day) because 1) blood flows more 2) it makes my vagina slippery so it makes it easier to insert the tampon. If I want to try on the 3rd day and onwards, It wouldn't enter at all or remain at the entrance. So 2 things come to mind: stress and being self-conscious of my own body.

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Fezzz
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I know it is a state of mind. I know I'm stressed (my vagina not me).

That really doesn't help me to relax the whole time. [Frown]

I'm not referring to a tampon.

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Some people say I have A.D.D., but they just don't underst-- ooh! Look! A chicken!!

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Heather
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Fezzz: with the pain that you're having, are you having that pain at any other time besides when you're using the sex toy? When you are using toys for vaginal entry, are you also using lubricant? Cleaning the toy properly between uses?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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lemdi
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In addition to Heather's questions: what kind of toy are you using? Does it move? What is it made of?
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Fezzz
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It only hurts when I use the toy, sometimes I use lube sometimes not, but when I do the kagel excersize it rubs alot inside me, whether I'm using lube or not, which is uncomfortable. The toy isn't that big at all, maybe an inch wide if not that. It has no problem going in, just the friction is what bothers me.

When I don't do that it feels great, but not when my vagina is tense. I've also noticed too that if I slightly rub the bottom of my vagina just barely inside, below that skin between your vagina and anus it feels like it burns.

This may sound stupid but I'll be honest, what is the purpose of cleaning the toy? I mean, it is my body fluid and it's the same right?

In responce to lemdi, my mom says it is like an extension to another toy, it is made of kinda hard material, and doesnt move in regards to a rabbit or anything. It is all manual. My guess it hard plastic? LIke I said before it feels great when I'm not doing a kagel move.

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Some people say I have A.D.D., but they just don't underst-- ooh! Look! A chicken!!

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moonlight bouncing off water
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I have no idea what a kagel move is, but would it not be simpler to stop doing a kagel move? Then you could see if the vaginal irritation stopped and go to a doctor if it did not.

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~moonlight

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Fezzz
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The kagel move is when you tense up your vagina to stop the flow of urine. I can't help it when it does that, it doesn't stop on it's on, and when I do stop it, it only lasts about 20 seconds before it tenses up again (kagel).

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Some people say I have A.D.D., but they just don't underst-- ooh! Look! A chicken!!

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polyprotic
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Something I found interesting when looking up info for a psych assignment on the autonomic nervous system was that once a vertebrate organism tenses a muscle, it is impossible for that muscle to relax automatically. You can only make that muscle relax through conscious effort (or through medicine or massage). So after doing a kegel, you must tell yourself to relax your vaginal muscles. It might also help to relax the muscles in your inner thighs, as they are connected. That is easier said than done sometimes when you're stressed or have a body memory related to trauma (I'm probably stating the obvious there). I find that when trying to relax any part of my body, it's helpful to imagine it turning into sand and spreading out.

Also, when inserting something other than our own body parts, we have less control over exactly what it does inside our bodies. When you use your fingers, you can constantly adjust the angle, pressure, etc. Your brain is constantly receiving information on what feels good and adjusts what you do with your fingers accordingly. It's impossible to tickle yourself for the same reason. That's not so easy with an object, so it could be getting poked against your tense muscles, which can't feel good. But if you are able to relax, that shouldn't be a problem.

As for why you should clean toys, yes, it is your same bodily fluids, but it's a good idea for a couple of reasons. First, potentially harmful bacteria can grow on them, especially if they aren't stored in a clean place. Also your dried fluids can form a waxy buildup that can make insertion more uncomfortable. So if your toy is safe to boil, that's an option to clean it. Or you can cover it with a fresh condom or latex glove every time and just throw it away when you're done.

I hope that helps :]

[ 08-15-2010, 02:07 AM: Message edited by: polyprotic ]

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Fezzz
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Yes I do have a body memory of it, that's why it can't stay relaxed for a long period of time, only a very short time.

As soon as it relaxes, I get a lil faster with my toy, becasue the pressure feels great when it's relaxed, but as soon as I get faster it tenses up again [Frown]

Ahh ok, I see the importance of cleaning toys now. Thank you very much for your help. [Smile]

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Some people say I have A.D.D., but they just don't underst-- ooh! Look! A chicken!!

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Heather
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Particularly since you haven't been covering your toy (hard plastic toys can't be boiled, and are also porous, so can be particularly prone to harbor bacteria), and are having pain at the introitus, I'd also check with a sexual healthcare provider to be sure you don't have an infection, okay? Because vaginal infections absolutely can cause pain and discomfort with any kind of sex or masturbation.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Fezzz
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I may have something wrong with me other than the fact my body has a bad memory to sex... because it does feel uncomfortable/painful when I have my toy enter me... but I always thought it was because I was tightening my vagina and my hymen (which I believe is thicker than most).

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Some people say I have A.D.D., but they just don't underst-- ooh! Look! A chicken!!

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Heather
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With things like this, often the best bet is to first rule out anything physical -- or have it identified and treated, because sometimes that's what the issue is.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Carpe Diem
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Why not try masturbating in a way other than with a toy, since you said that you only experience the pain when using one. It just seems to me that since masturbation is about pleasure for ourselves, why bother trying to make your body endure something that is causing it pain?

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"Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain."
-Joseph Campbell

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Fezzz
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Will do Heather.

Happybunny123, it does feel good, just not when I tense up.

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Some people say I have A.D.D., but they just don't underst-- ooh! Look! A chicken!!

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