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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Bodies » In a sex rut, and I'm only 20!

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Author Topic: In a sex rut, and I'm only 20!
Member # 45830

Icon 13 posted      Profile for mmmChocolate     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I've been with my boyfriend for about 6 months now. I love him with all of my heart, he is my best friend and always has been good in bed.

However, lately, I just don't want to have sex at all. It's been around 3 weeks since sex. I'm usually the one who initiates and I'm always ready to go. Now, I'm just blah.

What could be the problem? How can I get my libido back?


Posts: 110 | From: The West Coast | Registered: Feb 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 38292

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i have the same problem with my girlfriend
well i did anyways
the way i found that helped, was that we tried different positions, tried different sex moves, different ways to turn one another one, played one another's fantacies
there are plenty of things that you can try, watch some porn with him, see where that gets you.

hope this helps
sorry if it doesnt [Smile]


Posts: 28 | From: England | Registered: May 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
May Day
Member # 39174

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keep in mind that our sex drives are effected by a lot of influences, both internal and external. You might be going through some changes in life atm, a little more stress, etc or it might be your diet, not getting enough sleep, not getting enough exercise, etc. All this stuff can effect how we're feeling every which way, including our sex drive.

How have you been feeling in general? have you got plenty of energy? or do you have highs and lows? Are you doing things for your mental and physical health and well-being? Are you getting "me time" everyday to just relax and let everything catch up? How about, are you masturbating? Masturbation, while not something you ~have~ to do to have an enriching sex life, is pretty darn beneficial.

How about the birth control you're using? are you on a hormonal birth control like the pill? if so, it is very common for a woman's sex drive to change noticabley.

If you think everything in your world is doing a-okay, how about looking at what you and your boyfriend do together? Like, is there plenty of intimacy outside of sex? During sex have you fallen into patterns, which you may be finding dull? Do you usually enjoy sex with your partner, do you find it ~more~ than satisfactory? do you feel there is a balance between giving and receiving between you?

If any of those are a little doubtful have a think about them and talk about them with your partner.

What i've mentioned isn't everything, our bodies, and what are bodies do, are very reactive to environments and fluctuations in sex drive is pretty normal. You may find that your sex drive will increase by itself and at times drop again.

Posts: 172 | From: Australia | Registered: Jul 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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