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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Bodies » Overweight????

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Author Topic: Overweight????
Member # 14163

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I'm 15, am 5'11 and weigh 190 lbs. I don't think im THAT fat but just a little chubby. Lately, I've been trying to boost my self esteem and think about myself differently. My mom, even though she says she's just looking out for me, says I'm getting too fat and that when I'm grown up I'll be as big as a house. These comments really hurt me and when I tell her how I feel, she argues with me that she is just really concerned about my weight. She's taking me to my grandparents' house to stay there during the day for a week because she says I don't need to gain any more weight because I'm home alone during the day. I'm almost crying as I'm typing this and my self esteem is really going down now. Am I really considered overweight for my height? And does anybody feel lyke I feel? I feel horrible typing this but I only want to be heard. And I know the last part of my signature kind of contradicts this topic, but oh well.

People are lyke oreos--the best part is on the inside.-Lora

Live life to the fullest, don't let anyone tell you you're not beautiful, and don't take shitaki mushrooms from anybody.

Posts: 34 | From: Virginia, USA | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 13816

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TRUST ME!!!!!!!!!
i know exactly how u mom used to say the same things to me cuz im a little overweight...(and im not saying that u r cuz ur wish i was tall) then i just wouldn't talk 2 her cuz she would alwayz say something about my weight and it would make me cry.....
so she took me to a counseler(sp)....and now she hasent said anything to me about it...we started weight watchers and i lost some weight......
i would just say try to talk 2 ur mom...tell her how it makes u feel and if she tries to argue then i would keep telling her and dont try to argue back....(i dont know how that would work with ur mom, but its worth a try...)also u can tell her that u r glad that she cares and is worried but maybe if she wouldn't say things like "ur gonna be as big as a house" and tell her u r comfortable with urself and u like how u look.

hope i helped....and hope u feel better about everything!!!!

Posts: 2 | From: Georgia, USA | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gumdrop Girl
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 568

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Hey Mango, my mother said the same things to me. Parents really do try to look out for their kids, but sometimes they do stupid things like hurt our feelings. It was a really stressful point between my mother and me for a long time. I'd yell at her and cause ruckuses if she tried to get on my weight in public. It was the only time I could at least shut her up for a while -- god forbid the fat child start making a giant fuss in front of a bunch of strangers or colleagues. It's ont the best way to go. you can only hope your mom is rational so you can tell her she's hurting your feelings and that she needs to stop it before you get to the point of resentment.

Does your doctor consider you overweight? That's always a fair thing to ask, and if he/she says yes, it might be a good idea to look into changing some of your habits. otherwise, don't fix what ain't broken.

Me, I wasn't exactly healthy (high resting heart rate, fatigue, the works!), so I started going to the gym. I did get a trainer recently and I feel a lot better. Incidentally, it's making me lose weight, but that's not my objective. I just want to be able to run a mile without feeling like dying.

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Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 13662

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Hey girl, I am 5'10" and a size 14. I know how you feel. Don't worry about people who think you are overweight. If YOU don't think you are overweight, don't pay the ignorant ones any attention. If they must criticize your size, then they have personal issues.

If you want to stay fit, however, just eat a moderation of foods (meats, veggies, fruits, etc.) and drink lots of water. Avoid carbonated drinks like soda/pop (yuck!). You will feel healthy and great about yourself. Just eating normally and not worrying about my appearance, I actually lost weight without starving myself.

[This message has been edited by MichSM2 (edited 07-24-2003).]

Posts: 93 | From: Michigan, USA | Registered: Jun 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 12377

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hey i actually know how you feel i am also 15 but im 5'6' and i weigh 160 some and i am a little tubby my mom always says things like you need to loose weight you a little fat ...i feel down all the time but now i dont let any comments hurt my feelings i just brush them off and if you wanna loose weight just start running and run a little more everyday ...then watch what you eat i guess... i know it sucks living in this world like this but i know just how you feel all my friends are super skinny and here i am...
Posts: 25 | From: wisconsin | Registered: Mar 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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...and here you are, being the shape you are.

It's not a cliche that peopple come in all shapes and sizes, because we all DO come in a millionn different shapes and sizes. The idea that any one is "better" than another is totally artificial, pushed forth by various media and it changes with every generation, sometimes several times IN a generation. Inn my lifetime, for instance, I've seen phases of time where being very curvy (try Anna Nicole Smith in the 80's) was the ideal, where being incredibly muscled was the ideal, where being very thing and gamine was the ideal. And even that is limited only to a very closed and insular mainstream media: it differs in different cultures and groups.

Lookie, I've said this a thousand times, but I'll keep saying it as long as I have to:: if you live a moderately active lifestyle, if you eat healthy foods and not a lot of crap, and if you take care of the basics of caring for yourself (sleep, relaxation, basic hygeinne) you're going to look like you're meant and built to look. You'll find too, that as you age, that changes; we're always in a slight bit of flux.

But ALL of those healthy shapes are totally fine and they are all aestheticaally pleasing objectively and subjectively to people who use more than two brain cells and see people as whole people, not walking, talking glossy pages or clotheshangers or objects to posess or conquer.

And it's important to recognize that your friends who are naturally thin (if they are -- some may not be and may be doing themselves harm to be so) are not making you suffer. Buying into the bullhockey that one size fits all and that one shape is better than another is what makes you suffer, and truth be told, by envying them or demonizing them in any way, you're perpetuating that even more.

Parents aren't always as supportive as they should be and, being human, they're also prone to project. We had a user here once who had worked her tush off to recover from a debilitating eating disorder whose very vain and clearly insecure mother told her, when she was back to all of 115 pounds on her 5'10 frame, that she was "looking a little chubby."

Obviously, that's a dire case of such, but maybe instead of brushing those comments off, address them. Learn to respond clearly by saying something like, "You know, it hurts my feelings when you say thaat. I feel healthy, but if you think I'm not, maybe we should go ask our doctor?" or "Please don't say that to me. I know you mean well, but it hurts, rather than helps."

May make a big difference, and if a parent is projecting their own insecurities on you, it may make them start to see that.

Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
-- Kay Bailey Hutchinson

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 14163

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Hey yall, thanks for all the replies :-)

People are lyke oreos--the best part is on the inside.-Lora

Live life to the fullest, don't let anyone tell you you're not beautiful, and don't take shitaki mushrooms from anybody.

Posts: 34 | From: Virginia, USA | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 8966

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Okay, lookie here... I'm 15 5'2" and I weigh 115 lbs. Which is a good weight in my eyes. One bad thing is that I have stretch marks on my legs!!! I never noticed them until my wonderful boyfriend mentioned them while we were swimming Saturday!!! I thought, huh the nerve of him.... but he wasn't meaning anything by it, he just asked me why I had stretch marks. I guess it's because I went from 103 lbs to 125 lbs then I lost 10 lbs... but my point is, I feel great about myself, and I hope you learn to do the same. If you feel good about yourself that's all that matters. I believe true beauty is on the inside no matter who you are!
Posts: 126 | From: Small town, Tennessee | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 13996

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Hey...Im alil overweight myself...My grandmother is usually the one who tells me I need to lose weight she says my thighs are big and so is my hurts me when she says stuff like that yet shes the first to feed me junk food....Ive lost alot of weight but I did it for myself not for anyone else. There are times when I look in the mirror and cry especially when clothes shopping. You should b happy with yourself and not care wut anyone else thinks
Posts: 13 | From: philadelphia, pa, usa | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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