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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Bodies » Ho-hum Sexuality

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Author Topic: Ho-hum Sexuality
Member # 45834

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Hi, I'm new here (: Just wanted to pop in and ask a question or two!

So, I'm 17 and I've been masturbating for a few years. I have never had any problem reaching orgasm. I come every time, and often multiple times in a row. However, the experience always just feels...pleasant. Nothing to scratch your nose at, but worth the couple of minutes of leading up to it. I guess.

I wouldn't be worried about this, though, if this were my only "problem". However, there's more. Brace yourselves. I don't feel anything when I'm touching myself. Nada. Zip. Sometimes I'll feel a tiny bit of pleasure when masturbating, but most of the time it just feels like rubbing the inside of my elbow until the "big" o. And I haven't just tried straight up clittoral stimulation...I've tried fingering, using my shower head, rubbing against (clean) pillows, no avail! And I'm talking about trying all of this when I'm alone, relaxed, unstressed, and have a pool of desire so strong in my belly I feel like I'm gonna pop! I still feel almost totally indifferent to any sort of touch to my vulva (and my breasts almost entirely lack sensitivity *sad face*)

This STILL wouldn't be a problem if I hadn't just recently entered a sexual relationship with my boyfriend. It's a little frustrating because I look at him and I feel such a strong sense of desire that it's almost overwhelming...but I feel next to nothing when he touches me. And this is with a boy who pays so much attention to my body with oral and manual sex because his first priority is making me feel good...I tell him not to worry about it when I'm not very responsive to the things he does, but he thinks it's his fault that I'm not getting very much pleasure.

I'm not crazy worried about a lack of orgasm with my boyfriend (mostly because I know I can come easy-peasy when home alone)...I just want to know if this is how this are going to stay for me. To get dizzy with want and desire, but not have any real outlet for these feelings. Thanks so much if you can help!

Posts: 3 | From: Texas | Registered: Feb 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Am I understanding that while you have tried a lot of things, you haven't yet tried something like a vibrator?

To be clear on why I'm asking that, some women find they simply need way more sensation than other things can provide, and that vibrators, both with masturbation and partnered sex, really are their big ticket.

There are certainly some other potential issues that are possible -- like even just not yet fully being in the space yet FOR masturbation or partnered sex to be full-throttle, we don't all have the same developmental pace with that -- but wanted to check in about vibes first.

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 45834

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HELLO again! [Big Grin] Man, I apologize about not getting back to you on this, I've been in a bit of a whirlwind of life ever since I've posted this.

If you're interested: Boyfriend from this post and I were really wonderful and happy, until we started experiencing a few problems...and instead of working them out, he decided he'd rather just break things off >.> rather suddenly, too, at the beginning of April. I was really upset about all this, and actually still am, but I've just decided to embrace our relationship as a life experience and move on to see whatever life will bring me next! [Wink] Boy and I kind of entered a...FWB sort of situation (We call it "Best friends who casually have sex" haha) until one or both of us enter a monogamous relationship (which is the cause of my recent post in the emergencies forum, uggghhhh).

BUT anyways. No, I have not tried a vibrator...and I would very much like to, but that would be a little bit difficult in my household, haha. At the same time, I'm kind of afraid to try and that not be the answer and be stuck at square one. :/ Sex, it's very fun but that's mostly through the connection I get with the boy (we laugh a lot at ourselves, and it's just a fun time all around...even if it makes me really miss having him as a boyfriend) but I'm still in the same spot as I was mid-February. Still ho-hum.

If I may ask, do you have anything to elaborate as far as other potential issues besides trying a vibrator?

Posts: 3 | From: Texas | Registered: Feb 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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