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Author Topic: Dilemma
Alergnon
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I'm in a bit of a dilemma and I'm unsure what to really do about it. My Pastor sent me a message and said that my 10 sessions has come to an end with my therapist, because the Church is paying for it and they agreed 10 sessions. I seem better now, but what if I slip up again and end up in the hospital, I did while I was still seeing her. I'm unsure about this all. I really like her. There is only one other person I can go to for free and I'm on a wait list and it's a year or more of a wait list. I'm going to call them and see what's up. I'm really scared. I do seek help online just it does seem like I am doing better. Not sure if it has to do with my changed medication my doctor gave me, which I can talk to him about problems, he is qualified to talk to his patients it's his job. Well, I just feel as though I don't want to fall down.

I still don't know if I am pregnant or not. I went yesterday morning and did some urine tests for my doctor but I'm only a week late and not sure if it'll show up on the urine test. If I am I am terrified that I will get post partum depression. I know where to go for help if I do have it, and it's free. I used to go there for counseling until I turned 18 then they dropped me because I was considered an adult. Which made me angry and it's unfair that youth who are in trouble with the law can go there until their 21. I think a youth is still 18 until they hit 22 there not considered a youth. It says for kids and youth... I don't get it. Those who are in trouble with the law get counseling even if they are 19 they still are able to receive counseling and I wasn't (not in trouble with the law) when I was still at my worst and I finally started to open up to her after a year and she dropped me.

At this point I've given up on counselors...

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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If you're a week late on your period, then we'd be talking about being pregnant for a couple weeks, so yes, it should show up (if you are). How about we wait on that result to talk about your worries and fears around pregnancy?

Do you want some help looking into possibilities of where you can continue counseling before you give up the ghost?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Alergnon
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I don't want to give up on counseling I know I need it the most. Since I live in Canada I have access to Kids Help Phone and I post on their site, talk to counselors online (chat) and/or I call them and it's all free. And it's 24/hrs every day even holidays, only the chat service is open Thursday-Sunday from 6pm-11pm. I also use a site that is based in Victoria B.C and they help people in Canada and the U.S and not sure about around the world. I also use a site that is open 24/hrs and it's a peer to peer support and it's all over the world, haven't used it much. I honestly got fed up and one day I searched online and found them all, over a period of time. So, I have a lot of online supports even you guys [Smile] .

At one point in my life I wanted to get into trouble with the law just so I could receive counseling that was a secret I kept, I did nothing to breaking the law.

In total since I was 16 and now I'm 18 I've been to at 10 or more counselors. One of them I told her I'm having a eating problem and she told me she couldn't help me and then she told me that there are groups for it but I was over age, because I was F***ing 18. Who gives a rats butt if I am 18 I'm still a damn youth. So I was let down. She clearly wasn't a damn mental health intervention person. What ever.

I don't know who else to turn to now, besides the online help.

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Heather
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Want me to try and look myself, and ask others who I know work near where you are -- I'm pretty well connected all over the world -- if need be?

All I need to do that is a postal code.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Alergnon
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Okay yea sure. My Postal code is N7S 2B9 Ontario.
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Heather
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Okay, a'hunting I go! [Smile]

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Heather
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So, here's what I have so far for us to look at.

Have you contacted any of these orgs/agencies about ongoing in-person counseling?
• http://cmhalambtonkent.ca/p/218/l/276/t/Integrated-Client-Services
• http://www.mentalhealthhelpline.ca/Home/About
• http://www.familycounsellingctr.com/

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Alergnon
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I have been to CMHA before and I found they were not helpful, I felt like they wanted me to not talk and to just learn how to cope, when I wanted to talk about my problems, I felt like they wanted to shove me off so they can get to the next client.

The second link I have never heard about or seen. I'll see what they can offer me.

The last link I have been there and she told me to go to CMHA and I did and look what happened. I may go back. They only offer short term counseling and hmm, for long term you have to have a serious mental health issue.

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Alergnon
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Urgh that one site you gave me the second link I downloaded the thing and I've been waiting to speak with someone for awhile now. Starting to bug me.
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Heather
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You mean you're hanging on the phone on the second?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Alergnon
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No, I'm trying to chat with them. But it says "Please wait while we connect you with a MHSIO Information and Referral Specialist." Like com'on I may call them. I did leave and looked up some possible counseling and I found everything from Canadian Mental Health.
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Heather
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I'd just call them, then, on the phone.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Alergnon
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I called them and she gave me a number to call but my hopes are low because I most likely have to pay for it, like not the call but to get counseling from them. And I don't have that kind of money to pay for a session that costs about 200 per session.
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Heather
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How about you just call and find out? Seems a bit silly to focus on an issue that you don't know even is one. It might be, but let's find out before going there, okay?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Alergnon
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I think I may go to CMHA tomorrow after my placement (co-op) and talk to someone about being connected with someone there.
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Heather
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Great! [Smile]

In the meantime, want to talk a little about how you're managing tough feeling to avoid trying to commit suicide? Happy to talk through your coping tools if you like.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Alergnon
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I haven't thought of suicide for a while. I did have a small light thoughts about cutting open my belly if I was pregnant. I know sounds so off and concerning. I wanted to terminate the pregnancy if I was. This came with a lot of emotions, but I am fine now and I wont do that to myself. One thing that does concern me is if I am and I get post partum depression since I already have depression and have been in the psyh ward 3 times since the summer months. And I was almost put in there when I OD'ed was in the hospital for 5 days that they pumped fluids and medication into me and blood work after blood work. I am fine from that now.

I've been listening to music and what not, talking to friends. And I told my 3 best friends about this possible pregnancy and they all said they would support me and my one friend said that I can talk to her about anything. They all know about my history of hospital visits and what I go through so their a big support and their family to me.

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Heather
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Well, like I said, I don't really see a need to address post-partum with you before a) you know if you're pregnant or not, and then b) if you are, you decide what you want to choose to do with a pregnancy. It just seems to me that with all the things actually going on you have to be concerned with, focusing on something that isn't actually happening or may not even be a possibility any time soon seems counterproductive.

But it sounds like you've got yourself a good support system right now, and like listening to music helps you out. Do you feel like those things are enough for you for the time being?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Alergnon
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Yea I think they will help me in the meantime. [Smile]
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Heather
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That's great to hear.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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