I'm not sure if this is the right place to put this, but oh well.
I go to another site to answer forums and the people there sometimes seem clueless. I am always reading posts about girls who didn't use a comdom and are afraid of being pregnant, i think there is at least 1 post a day like that. And very often, at least one person will answer...
"That pre-cum stuff is a myth. I had unprotected sex with my boyfriend for 6 months. Don't worry, as long as he pulls out, you won't get pregnant."
I'm always shocked to see how little people know about sex, when they first have it. It amazes me, that people say they are ready for sex, when they don't even know their own body, let alone their partners.
So, i was just curious to know, how others felt on this topic, and if anyone knows or can guess how big a % of people have sex the first time with little to no knowlegde of it.
K, thanks for listening.
------------------ "A six foot tall anorexic bimbo,with plastic breasts is making me feel weird about my own body." -Miss Bif Naked
I had an idea to start a similar topic. Every day, I read the "ask a sexpert" board and sometimes even ask a question or two. Sometimes, I'm very surprised at the questions people ask, as well as the posts they try to follow up with on the same board. It just seems to me that the logical thing is to look something up when you don't understand it. But sometimes people don't, and thank goodness websites like Scarleteen are available.
My topic was (and I was going to post this in the Update or Support section)..how do the advocates and especially sexperts and Miz Scarlet herself cope on a day to day basis when they read posts and urgent messages about teens who don't understand the necessity of condoms? Stuff like that. Obviously, disappointment..do you guys ever get angry or sad about all this, or do you chalk it up to a day's work? I've always wondered about this.
we'll take this as a double-edged sort of compliment. here at Scarleteen, we take pride in quality control. that means we only put up accurate information. the advocates who post here are selected because they've proven that they can post intelligently and that they know their material. and out brilliant sexpertsquite simply kick a lot of butt!
but it is sad to see so much misinformation and ignorance being propagated out in cyberspace. maybe you should hint to some of those ppl that they need to stop by and see what we're up to.
------------------ The Second Law of Thermodynamics states that the universe is constantly moving to a state of greater entropy s, therefore, delta s is always greater than zero.
Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000
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Miz S. is not the only living proof I know, nor was intercourse involved in one case.
However, if you can help out on any of the other boards, do so. But gently! Some of us went over to the Missgirl boards some months ago, and were able to both help and offend by offering accurate and useful advice. I guess it's all in how you do it, and even then, some people don't want to be reached. I still go to the MG boards though, or did when they were open, and to others too. And even got a nice message for it, in one case!
Posts: 5122 | From: I *came* from the land of ice and snow | Registered: Aug 2000
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Did you notice three of us all posted within a minute of one another?
Cue the creepy theme music.
Really, Starry, it can be very frustrating, and it can be maddening and saddening. And mainly I cope by blowing off steam (and doing some serious pranayama and kundalini breaths of fire during my yoga seesions) and trying to remember to laugh plenty.
And too, you realize that if you're lucky, and the people asking hear what you say when you answer them, that's one more misinformed or uninformed person who now knows better.
You know starry, I think Heather has said it all already. Even though I've been here for only half a year and have by no means put as much work into this as Heather, it can be very frustrating and saddening and whatever else. Breathing helps to get through nonchalant "am i pregnant" posts, but sometimes it jsut is a little much.
Thing is, I don't just get angry at the kids who post about dangerous behaviour or about not setting limits or whatever, but at the partners of these kids and their parents and their teachers and whoever else contributed directly and indirectly to the endangering or unhealthy behaviour (either by giving false or no info at all). I even get angry at a government that mainly funds abstinence only sex ed.
But as Heather said, it takes time. And every little helps. And if we get one teen a day of the thousands who come here every day to start practising Safer Sex or change their behaviour, or become responsible and make a decision that is good for them (no amtter what the decision is), it has paid off, I guess.
In addition, I have started throwing condoms at my monitor. Maybe one day, I will find a technique so that they end up at the other side, with those who still haven't figured out condoms are essential.
*throws a "BigBen" condom at her screen*
------------------ "We must become the change we want to see." Mahatma Gandhi
I'm a regular poster on Razzberry, particularily in the religion, law, and sexuality boards. I'm not exactly universally despised, but people know who I am (I'm one of an unholy trinity of intelligent, pro-choice, and generally very snide women who just seem to end up in the same place at the same time a lot.) I have come very close to banging my head against my keyboard with every single last:
-"Waiting until marriage is the only way to go, and anyone who doesn't wait is a big 'ho." -"Men are evil, and women are ever so nice and sweet. We never do anything wrong, it's always his fault!" -any post about significant others that assumes girls only go out with/have sex with guys -"Gay people are immoral and shouldn't be able to get married/adopt kids/live. -Any argument against homosexuality and abortion that includes the words 'god doesn't like it', or some variation thereof
Grrr...Trying to set them straight isn't helping, either. I wish I was given the same regard on the sexuality boards as I am on the religion ones (not the Law boards, though. I am the enemy on the Law boards). Of course, with any question about sex or sexuality, I (and a few other posters) regularily flog Scarleteen. Especially the readiness checklist.
I think sometimes people can't be persuaded, or don't want to be persuaded. Ultimately, you can't make someone accept your opinion or your information -- you can just present it persuasively and with a good will, and hope that people will listen.
Or, as Dorothy Parker said, "You can lead a whore to culture but you can't make her think." (get it! horticulture! ha ha ha. No offense to any sex workers intended.)
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